*Important: This web page contains quite a bit of multi-media content.
This content is extremely important in regard to explaining the vital need for and why I innovated and created My Head Meets Heart Kits, in addition to the content being very interesting, compelling, and entertaining.
For this reason, please WAIT a minute or two before you begin scrolling to ensure this web page and all it’s contents have downloaded.
Just chill for a couple of minutes. I promise it will be worthwhile. 🙂
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe – (1832)
“The more you trust your feelings, the more you will trust yourself.” ~ Pam Jones – (2022)
First a loving and heart-felt DEDICATION:
“I don’t understand or know what this is all about, but I believe in you.” ~ My late dad, Harvey Jones Sr.
Shortly before he passed away in March 2020, I sat my father down at the kitchen table in the house I grew up in and with my laptop I tried to explain to him what I was creating, (a very difficult task to be sure.)
He didn’t quite get it, but that didn’t matter.
What mattered is my Dad believed in me.
I love you Daddy. 🙂
*This website is dedicated to my extraordinary, pioneering, and entrepreneurial parents, Harvey Jones Sr. who passed away March 25th 2020, and his equal in every way soulmate, entrepreneurial muse, and business partner Faye Jones, who passed away September 9th 2021.
Both being Chicago originals, God could not have given me more inspiring examples and parents.
They are my first known example of a couple who truly lived as EQUALS.
Thanks Mama & Daddy 🙂
*Important Encore: Please wait a couple of minutes for this content-rich intro web page to load before you begin reading/scrolling. Trust me, it’s worth it. 🙂
“Almost everything is about feelings, and no one talks about it.”
That is SO true, but WHY?
Why are FEELINGS or the ability to FEEL such a shunned and taboo topic in America and in much of the Western world?
The reasons are multiple, but I think ONE major reason is because allowing ourselves to FEEL means we may be faced with our unconscious or previously suppressed painful TRUTHS and our hidden and subconscious TRAUMAS.
It also would cause us to have to confront our mental, emotional, and psychological WOUNDS which many of us have accumulated, ignored and/or suppressed for years and/or since childhood.
“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli – Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom – (1804 -1881)
Feeling = Truth
The problem is these suppressed feelings and inconvenient truths about us, our unaddressed and unprocessed traumas, our unhealed emotional wounds, and our painful feelings tend to keep us stuck, limited, stunted, and perpetually broken in some way or another throughout our lives if they are allowed to stay hidden or suppressed.
“Pain that is not transformed gets transmitted.” ~ Prince Harry, (the Duke of Sussex)
Transmitted: passed on from one person or place to another. ~ Google Dictionary
“Passed on from one person or place to another.” This is the problem.
Whether it is recognized or not, many people are unconsciously transmitting their suppressed, hidden, ignored and/or unconscious pain and deep seated trauma in multiple relationships they become involved in throughout their lives, whether its a relationship with a partner, a child, a friend, a parent, a co-worker, a boss, a neighbor, a complete stranger, and even the relationship they have with their own selves.
Basically our unprocessed, ignored, and/or suppressed pain and trauma is the unconscious baggage that we carry with us and transmit from one relationship or life situation to the next if it’s not seriously dealt with.
For example, think of all the unprocessed rage involved in road rage incidents which are unfortunately on the rise.
“2021 is on track to be the deadliest on record for road rage, data shows” ~ ABC WYYZ Detroit – December 2021
These rage filled and many times deadly drivers typically direct their anger at people they don’t even know, total and complete strangers, so where does all that pent up rage and anger come from?
Another more common example is if a person still has raw and unprocessed pain and trauma as a result of being hurt badly in a past love relationship.
Some carry their suppressed, hidden, and unresolved pain into a new relationship and they end up transmitting their unresolved or unprocessed issues from the past relationship onto their new partner who had nothing to do with that unaddressed and unprocessed pain.
The new partner may unintentionally trigger the unprocessed pain, but it’s still old and unaddressed pain the new partner had nothing to do with creating.
For years I have observed myself in my early adult life and also friends, family members, clients, etc. jump into new relationships without first trying to understand, process, resolve, and hopefully heal the pain and trauma from our last relationship…
…and also without first trying to develop a healthy and secure relationship with ourselves.
“Others can only offer you the depth of intimacy that they have with themselves.” ~ Robert Ohotto
That wisdom from Robert Ohotto is very true, but it also goes the other way around.
What do I mean?
We can only expect the depth of intimacy from a relationship that we are willing to give to another…
…and having that level of depth in large part requires us to have a healthy, loving, and intimate relationship with ourselves.
“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.” ~ Eartha Kitt
We humans really need to do a better job of knowing thyself, and we can never truly know ourselves without also examining our feelings or the way we really feel about ourselves; even if that inner examination is uncomfortable, difficult, or is painful for us to delve into.
We also need to do a better job of guarding and protecting our hearts, particularly when jumping from one relationship to the next. Our hearts can be very fragile and deserve to be treated with the utmost care.
In addition to our intimate relationships, unprocessed pain and trauma is also what we unknowingly transmit when we parent our kids, how we treat our friends and loved ones, how we unconsciously operate in society, and most of all how we subconsciously feel about ourselves; most notably in terms of how worthy we feel we truly are.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~ Carl Jung
Another word for unconscious is subconscious.
Definition of Subconscious: the mental activities just below the threshold of consciousness” ~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Well, not exactly.
I don’t mean to challenge one of the best known dictionaries in the land, but I think Merriam-Webster’s definition and most other dictionary definitions of subconscious exclusively being about our mental activities or being all in our minds may need a little updating.
“Your brain is not in charge. This revelation by Dr. Candace Pert challenges conventional science—and everyone interested in total wellness—to reconsider how our bodies think, feel, and heal.” ~ From a review of the illuminating book “Your Body Is Your Subconscious Mind”
Bestselling author and world-class neuroscientist Candace Pert, Ph. D. is the author of the compelling and fascinating book “Your Body Is Your Subconscious Mind” which makes a solid case that the subconscious mind does not just reside in our minds or on the mental level, but it also resides in our emotions/feelings and in every cell of our bodies.
In fact to further support this point, recent medical research has directly connected Mental Health to GUT Health.
The following article excerpt was published by Harvard Medical School in 2019:
“Research shows that the gut and brain are connected, a partnership called the gut-brain axis. The two are linked through biochemical signaling between the nervous system in the digestive tract, called the enteric nervous system, and the central nervous system, which includes the brain. The primary information connection between the brain and gut is the vagus nerve, the longest nerve in the body.
The gut has been called a “second brain” because it produces many of the same neurotransmitters as the brain does, like serotonin, dopamine, and gamma-aminobutyric acid, all of which play a key role in regulating mood. In fact, it is estimated that 90% of serotonin is made in the digestive tract.” ~ Harvard Medical School – June 2019
First what are Probiotics?
“Probiotics are made of good live bacteria and/or yeasts that naturally live in your body. You constantly have both good and bad bacteria in your body. When you get an infection, there’s more bad bacteria, knocking your system out of balance. Good bacteria helps eliminate extra bad bacteria, returning the balance. Probiotic-supplements are a way to add good bacteria to your body.” ~ Cleveland Clinic
*I also highly recommend reading or listening to the informative yet fascinating book titled “The Mind-Gut Connection: How the Hidden Conversation within Our Bodies Impacts Our Mood, Our Choices, and Our Overall Health” by Emeran Mayer MD which you can check out here at Book Lender.
In fact whether it’s called “The Mind-Gut Connection” or “The Gut-Brain Axis” medical research is increasingly revealing the benefits of taking a good Probiotic source or supplement in helping to breech the gap between the two to possibly benefit mental health.
Case in point:
“The results of the provided evidence suggest that probiotic and prebiotics might improve mental function via several mechanisms. The beneficial effects of their application in Depression, Anxiety, Alzheimer and autism spectrum diseases have also been supported in clinical studies.” ~ Pub Med.Gov via the National Library of Medicine
And then there is this:
“The digestive system, and specifically the intestines and their resident bacteria, are playing an incredible role in keeping the body healthy,” says David Perlmutter, M.D., editor-in-chief of the upcoming scientific textbook The Microbiome and the Brain.
But your gut doesn’t just play a role in your physical health. The gut-brain axis is a bidirectional communication system between the gut microbiome and your brain. Put simply, your brain sends signals to your gut via your body’s control system, the autonomic nervous system. Your gut also talks to your brain via hormones that are stored in specialized gut cells, immune molecules, and nerve signals, Mayer says. “These communication channels make the gut and the brain the two most closely connected organs within our body,” he says.” ~ From Men’s Health Magazine article titled “The Benefits of Probiotics Are Well-Documented — But Can They Improve Mental Health?”
Who would have ever thought that what’s happening in our guts directly impacts what’s happening in our brains???
Actually that is the very basis of Holistic Medicine:
“Holistic means encompassing the whole of a thing, and not just the part. Holistic medicine looks at the whole person for answers, not just at physical symptoms.” ~ Vocabulary.com
*To learn more about the fascinating topic of Holistic Health, please read or listen to “Whole Health: A Holistic Approach to Healing for the 21st Century” by Mark Mincolla which you can check out here at Book Lender.
“One must treat the body as a whole, rather than a series of parts.” ~ Hippocrates – The Father of Medicine – (464-370 BC)
Doing extensive research on this important topic is why I have included multiple high quality Probiotic options to choose from as a bonus to consider in each My Head Meets Heart Kit.
“Probiotics can do more than improve your gut health. They also may indirectly enhance your brain, too.” ~ Harvard Medical School – June 2019
For example, following are links to a few of the excellent Probiotic options which I include as a bonus in each kit:
Going back to Dr. Candace Pert’s revelation about the entire body encompassing the subconscious mind:
“Your body is your subconscious mind and you can’t heal it by talk alone.” ~ Candace Pert, Ph.D.
In my opinion, that’s at least one reason which explains why conventional talk therapy alone has such a spotty record of long-term success overall.
Talking about our problems and issues to a licensed professional, to a loved one, or to a sympathetic ear is most definitely extremely important, very beneficial, and can indeed be healing on some level, but in terms of authentic and long term healing, in many cases talking alone is not enough; it’s only a critical starting point.
Here’s the thing:
When we talk to a therapist, we typically talk about what we consciously know about ourselves, our lives, and how we feel about both, but there is much that we don’t consciously know.
There may be unknown feelings/emotions/traumas that are driving our actions, our behaviors, our thoughts, our motivations, etc.
These feelings/emotions/traumas which we typically are totally unaware of may be unknowingly determining our outcomes in life because much of what we don’t consciously know about ourselves resides on the subconscious/unconscious level.
“Every event that has ever happened to you…every time someone said something or did something to you is registered in your cells. Not just your brain cells, but in your entire body.” ~ Edith Moscowitz, from Vortex-Success
In many instances we can begin to uncover and deal with the trauma that has resided within us subconsciously since childhood by using tools which target and re-program the subconscious mind and emotional body.
These tools are the very foundation of My Head Meets Heart Kits.
This targeted re-programming will not only help to begin to lay those hidden and suppressed traumas to rest, it will also help to resolve difficult or painful present-day feelings/emotions/traumas.
“99.9 percent of people on planet Earth are suffering from some form of loss, trauma, or grief. It doesn’t matter what age you are, but the majority of us have experienced a lot in our younger years; therefore, we’ve forgotten about it. Now, the body doesn’t forget, the body holds the score, as we know. And therefore, just as much as there’s a mental health aspect to it, there’s also the emotional aspect to it as well. And I think the more that we can talk about it, the more we understand it. The more we understand it, well, the more we understand each other.” ~ Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex from Harper’s Bazaar article titled “Prince Harry Opens Up About Therapy and Shifting the Mindset Around Mental Health” – April 2022
“….the body doesn’t forget, the body holds the score, as we know.”
Exactly and kudos to Prince Harry for recognizing and highlighting the importance of “the emotional aspect” of health aka FEELINGS.
*You can pick up a hard copy or an audio book copy of the truly extraordinary and revolutionary book “Your Body Is Your Subconscious Mind” by Candace Pert, Ph. D. here at Book Lender.
Going back to this sage wisdom from Carl Jung:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~ Carl Jung
The unconscious/subconscious being present in every cell of our body demands that in addition to our mental well-being, we also address and uncover our hidden, suppressed, or ignored feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and our emotional nature and it’s motivations…
…so that we can eventually, truly, and authentically heal ourselves.
I believe a more modern and more timely take on Carl Jung’s timeless wisdom would involve introducing our heads (what we consciously know) to our hearts (our mostly unconscious/subconscious emotions, feelings, triggers, and motivations) or what I have coined….
My Head Meets Heart
Guess what time it is, ladies and gents?
It’s time to FINALLY break the cycle of continuously transmitting that unconscious, subconscious, and unprocessed pain and trauma towards ourselves, towards our loved ones, and in some instances towards society at large.
It’s time for us to focus on and take care of all aspects of our health: physical, mental and emotional.
It’s time for us to recognize our own self worth and to make a habit of being kinder to ourselves, particularly when it comes to our inner dialogue.
These are some of the many reasons why I innovated and created My Head Meets Heart Kits.
I created My Head Meets Heart Kits to hopefully help those who need to begin the journey towards finally HEALING their unprocessed and/or suppressed pain and trauma…
…and also to help people to re-program their subconscious minds so they can be much better friends, allies, and caregivers to themselves. It’s time.
And I believe more and more of humanity is shifting towards that time being NOW.
“Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they’re deserving of accolades.” ~ Harvard Business Review – February 2021
Attention: To all the (almost exclusively women) who struggle with what is commonly known as imposter syndrome, you are not an imposter.
In fact you have the potential and capabilities to become much greater than you could ever realize.
I created My Head Meets Heart Kits to help you to discover just how great, exceptional, and worthy of accolades you really and truly are.
“We are all here to become much more than we think and feel we are. It’s time to understand and expand our thinking and feelings about ourselves.” ~ Pam Jones
More from Carl Jung:
“A mood of universal destruction and renewal has set it’s mark on our age. This mood makes itself felt everywhere, politically, socially, and philosophically. We are living in what the Greeks called the kairos – the right moment for a “metamorphosis of the gods,” of the fundamental principles and symbols. This peculiarity of our time, which is certainly not of our conscious choosing, is the expression of the unconscious human within us who is changing. Coming generations will have to take account of this momentous transformation if humanity is not to destroy itself through the might of its own technology and science. So much is at stake and so much depends on the psychological constitution of the modern human.” ~ Carl Jung – (1970)
That last sentence from Jung bears repeating:
“So much is at stake and so much depends on the psychological constitution of the modern human.” ~ Carl Jung – (1970)
Indeed and it needs to become more well known that “psychological constitution” involves both the mental and emotional aspect of human beings.
Because absolutely nothing happens mentally until it happens emotionally; until we can first feel it.
There has been a lot of much needed talk and focus in recent years on the importance of healing our mental health and well-being, but rarely if ever do I see or hear talk about the equal importance of healing our emotional health and well-being aka our FEELINGS.
*One thing is for sure…
America would be a much kinder, more empathetic, much fairer and a much more caring country if more Americans were like the late Fred Roger’s aka Mr. Rogers from the iconic former PBS show Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.
“The media shows the tiniest percentage of what people do. There are millions and millions of people doing wonderful things all over the world, and they’re generally not the ones being touted in the news.” ~ Mr. Rogers
Very true and maybe it’s high time for more Americans to pay attention to each other rather than what the empathy-deficient, corporate-owned media deems as important.
Mr. Rogers became and still remains a cherished and much beloved American icon today because he was an extremely caring and highly empathetic man.
Fred Rogers was also the rare heterosexual man who was fully, openly, willingly, and proudly in touch with his FEELINGS.
“Feeling good about ourselves is essential in our being able to love others.” ~ Mr. Rogers
That’s the irony. How much love we have for ourselves is a barometer for how much we are able to love others.
“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” ~ Mr. Rogers
And it all begins with us first striving to love and accept ourselves right here and now.
When you love and accept yourself, striving to become an even better person for you and others to love will become automatic or second nature to you.
It’s not about bettering ourselves or accomplishing things so we can love ourselves.
It’s about bettering ourselves and accomplishing things because we love ourselves.
And it all begins with how we feel about ourselves.
“It’s really easy to fall into the trap of believing that what we do is more important than what we are. Of course, it’s the opposite that’s true: What we are ultimately determines what we do!” ~ Mr. Rogers
It’s also not about proving anything to ourselves or to anyone else. It’s about appreciating and using the life that we have been gifted to make a difference in the lives of others in whatever unique and meaningful way we can.
Case in point:
Now that’s what I call using your life to make a difference in the lives of others 🙂
This is something that we all can do and I have created several My Head Meets Heart Kits to help you to do just that, no matter what your challenges, background or circumstances are.
“Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.” ~ Mr. Rogers
Indeed it is, and one of those truths is every person on this planet was born with a unique and highly individual purpose for their life.
“The two most important days in life are the day you born and the day you find out why.” ~ Mark Twain
And helping others to find out, to discover, to follow, and to eventually succeed at living their life’s purpose is just one of many reasons why I created My Head Meets Heart Kits.
“The person without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.” ~ Thomas Carlyle
My one of a kind kits were created to help anyone who wishes to facilitate that self discovery process.
Facilitate: to make (an action or process) easy or easier.
To be clear, that self discovery process most definitely won’t be easy…
…but my one of a kind kits were created to help make this highly individual, very complex yet extremely beneficial process easier for anyone who decides to undertake it 🙂
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman
A good question to ask yourself is what difference would you be making in the lives of others if all your every day needs were already met?
“Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” ~ Rumi
Going back to Mr. Rogers…
“Won’t you be my neighbor?” ~ Mr. Rogers
Ultimately Fred Rogers deeply cared for others, even if they were totally unlike him, just like Jesus taught us to do.
“Love thy neighbor as thyself.” ~ Jesus Christ
“Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors.” ~ Mr. Rogers
*I have also created My Head Meets Heart Kits to help with being kinder, more empathetic, more loving, and more compassionate, just like Mr. Rogers was. 🙂
Here are just a few:
Kit #64 – Be Kinder
Kit #89 – Be More Compassionate
Kit #96 – Empathize With Others
Kit #125 – See With the Eyes of a Child
Kit #128 – Become a Friendlier Person
And here are a few of the kits I created to help anyone to discover and live their life’s purpose:
Kit #50 – Seize the Day
Kit #65 – Find Your Purpose
Kit #66 – Be the Change
“The purpose of life is to contribute in some way to making things better.” ~ Robert F. Kennedy
Circling back to the important topic of FEELINGS…
…focusing on how we really feel may involve bravely and intentionally tapping into our emotions, no matter how hard, painful, difficult, or uncomfortable that may be.
Very few people knew the importance of honoring feelings better than Fred Rogers.
More than 50 years ago on May 1, 1969, Mr. Rogers testified before the Senate Committee of Commerce Subcommittee on Communications to defend $20 million in federal funding proposed for the newly formed non-profit Corporation for Public Broadcasting, (which funded his children’s show Mr. Rogers Neighborhood in addition to many other excellent programs for kids).
This crucial funding for children’s educational public TV programming accessible to all was at risk of being reduced by half to only $10 million.
Mr. Rogers’ unforgettable six minutes of testimony before that Senate Committee communicates better than I ever could the importance of educating children about the importance of HONORING THEIR FEELINGS.
I believe watching Mr. Rogers’ profound and meaningful testimony will also educate and possibly even move some of the adults now reading this web page in regard to how important feelings are:
First here are a few from the literally thousands of heart-felt comments left on that YouTube video of Mr. Rogers unforgettable Senate testimony:
“I was an only child and a victim of divorce. I was raised by my mother and I dealt with feelings of abandonment. Mr. Rogers was remarkable evidence that God loved me and that I was never alone. I look forward to being his neighbor in heaven.”
“If we can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health” – Fred Rogers
Couldn’t have said it better myself. It’s a lesson not only for young people, but also for people of all ages. That it’s alright to feel sad, angry, upset, and so on – and that it’s important to understand those feelings and to learn how to express them in a healthy way. Moreover, that it’s only to our benefit to be receptive to the feelings of others, and to try to understand each other.”
“It’s important to see that Mr. Rogers did not defeat Senator Pastore. He didn’t conquer him. He didn’t sooth a savage beast. He did what he did every day and with everyone. He saw the best in the Senator and helped the Senator become that best version of himself. He didn’t bestow love or kindness on the Senator, he brought out the Senator’s inner kindness and beauty. As he did with us all.”
“These 6 minutes changed the lives of tens of millions of kids in America. This was his moment and the man rose to the occasion. I always knew Mr. Rogers as the nice man that cared about me as a child. Now in my 40s I see him as who he really was. A hero.”
“To me he is the ultimate TRUE alpha. When he speaks, everyone stops to listen. Everything he says has substance. And if you notice, he is the same in every interview, he never changes and he dominates the conversation naturally. I am concerned about anyone that can sit and listen to this man and not get teary eyed by the intense emotional things that he says and how he says them.”
“The senator went from mocking him to practically holding back tears.”
“Talking about mental health in the 60s. The man was an absolute pioneer. LEGEND.”
“If only people like Fred Rodgers lead the world. Selfless, authentic and always righteous. He was truly a once in a lifetime human being.”
“I work with kids in the mental health field and I can’t even begin to describe just how important this exchange was, to say nothing of the lifetime of effort Mr. Rogers brought to the world of healthy childhood development. I’ve seen this clip so many times and I still cry every time I watch it. What indomitable, unrelenting love and compassion this man had within him.”
“You’ve made this day a special day, by just being you. There’s no one else in the whole world like you, and I like you just the way you are.”
“I don’t care if you’re 6 or 60. When Fred Rogers says this to you, and its so obvious that he genuinely means it, it makes you feel something. You can see the Senator is spellbound from that moment on. Maybe he needed to hear that himself this day, and after that, realized every child would need to hear it too at some point.”
And one final comment:
“If we in the public sphere can make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health.”
This sentence alone is just wonderful.”
Indeed it is. 🙂
One last bonus comment:
“Mr. Rogers was so far ahead of his time that we still haven’t caught up.”
To warm your hearts even more, go to the YouTube video’s comment section to see thousands of more moving comments like these here.
What a difference this dear man made in the lives of countless millions of American children. 🙂
“(Fred Rogers) had a kind, soothing voice that never spiked in frustration or sagged with sorrow, even in episodes navigating such rocky emotional terrain as divorce, or death, fear or anger. He never roughhoused with guests or invalidated the observations of the children to whom he spoke. Above all, he celebrated the importance of feelings, the very thing boys are too often counseled to ignore or stifle.” ~ Melanie McFarland – Salon Magazine – February 2018
This bears repeating:
“…he celebrated the importance of feelings, the very thing boys are too often counseled to ignore or stifle.”
I can’t help but wonder if there would be such a thing as a mass gun shooting epidemic in US schools if boys today had more men like Fred Rogers to emulate and model as an example…
….or if more shows like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and the many other excellent and meaningful kids shows public television offered kids in America on a daily basis back in the day still existed.
Now kids can only watch Sesame Street if their parents subscribe to HBO Max.
Think about the millions of households with children living below the poverty line in America today which can’t afford to do that.
“Parkland and all the school shootings that have come before share many characteristics, but one that simply cannot be ignored is the fact that every single one was committed by a young man described as mentally ill, bullied or disconnected from others in some way.
These young men are the result of a culture that conditions our children to equate masculinity with the ability to lash out violently and the muting of emotional expression, the very ideas (Fred) Rogers sought transform with his work and his presence.” ~ Melanie McFarland – Salon Magazine – February 2018
“…the muting of emotional expression” aka the muting of feelings.
“The boys are not all right.” ~ The title of a New York Times Op-Ed by Michael Ian Black written right after 17 mostly teenagers were shot dead by a male teen at a Florida high school in 2018.
“America’s boys are broken. And it’s killing us.” ~ Michael Ian Black
One thing that is abundantly clear to me is the growing number of young men behind the mass school shooting epidemic in the U.S. in no way believe that their lives are worth much or that they or their lives even matter.
“The world needs a sense of worth, and it will achieve it only by its people feeling that they are worthwhile.” ~ Mr. Rogers
Would mass school shootings presently be an epidemic in America if we still lived in a country which welcomed a man like Mr. Rogers on the television airwaves today?
I don’t think so and most importantly I believe Mr. Rogers could see the violent direction this country was headed in if American children were not taught how to express, manage, and deal with their feelings.
What follows is a pivotal excerpt from Fred Roger’s powerful Senate testimony in 1969:
“I think that it’s much more dramatic that two men could be working out their feelings of anger — much more dramatic than showing something of gunfire. I’m constantly concerned about what our children are seeing, and for 15 years I have tried in this country and Canada, to present what I feel is a meaningful expression of care.”
“This has to do with that good feeling of control which I feel that children need to know is there. And it starts out, “What do you do with the mad that you feel?” And that first line came straight from a child. I work with children doing puppets in — in very personal communication with small groups:
What do you do with the mad that you feel? When you feel so mad you could bite. When the whole wide world seems oh so wrong, and nothing you do seems very right. What do you do? Do you punch a bag? Do you pound some clay or some dough? Do you round up friends for a game of tag or see how fast you go? It’s great to be able to stop when you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong. And be able to do something else instead, and think this song —
‘I can stop when I want to. Can stop when I wish. Can stop, stop, stop anytime….And what a good feeling to feel like this! And know that the feeling is really mine. Know that there’s something deep inside that helps us become what we can. For a girl can be someday a lady, and a boy can be someday a man.” ~ Fred Rogers from his May 1st 1969 Senate testimony
Mr. Rogers most definitely knew what would happen if children (especially boys) were not taught at an early age how to properly express, manage, and deal with their feelings.
Fast Forward more than 50 years later to TODAY:
And even more tragically the mass shootings are not just happening in schools.
This recent mass shooting at a local supermarket was committed by an 18 year old male:
And that 18 year old male was motivated by pure hatred.
77 year old Pearly Young was one of the 10 victims tragically killed by that 18 year old male driven by hatred:
And then there is this:
In other words that mass supermarket shooting could have been prevented.
The students at that young man’s high school, Miss Pearly Young and the other nine people tragically killed at that Buffalo NY supermarket, and lastly that 18 year old male who is now responsible for 10 deaths deserved so much better from the authorities, his family, and others who did so little when it was so obvious this young man was a danger to the community and also to himself.
He basically was allowed by authorities and by those responsible for him in his life to morph from a mentally unstable, animal torturing, N-word spewing, mass school shooting planning teen into a mentally unstable, hatred driven, young adult, serial killing domestic terrorist:
Not only are mass school shootings and mass shootings in general now the norm in this country, a record number of American kids and teens are also taking their own lives:
“Even before the COVID-19 pandemic, youth suicide was already at record high.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people ages 10-24 and has been increasing every year since 2007.” ~ UC Davis Health – April 2021
In fact so many American teens are in the midst of a suicidal mental and emotional health crisis today, U.S. hospitals can’t accommodated the sheer number of them:
“With inpatient psychiatric services in short supply, adolescents are spending days, even weeks, in hospital emergency departments awaiting the help they desperately need.” ~ The New York Times – May 2022
*I created My Head Meets Heart Kits for teens to utilize as well, and there is a special My Head Meets Heart Kit which I created specifically for kids.
“Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” ~ Mr. Rogers
But how many kids and teens growing up today know they are loved exactly as they are?
One thing for sure is every kid who grew up watching Mr. Rogers Neighborhood at least had some idea of knowing that.
“Some days, doing ‘the best we can’ may still fall short of what we would like to be able to do, but life isn’t perfect on any front and doing what we can with what we have is the most we should expect of ourselves or anyone else.” ~ Mr. Rogers
*The following linked article is for parents with kids or for anyone else who wishes to watch episodes of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood:
The following from Mr. Rogers Senate testimony bears repeating yet again:
“If we can only make it clear that feelings are mentionable and manageable, we will have done a great service for mental health.” ~ Fred Rogers from his May 1st 1969 Senate testimony
“Mentionable” meaning that it’s more than ok to talk about our feelings. In fact for our overall health, it’s imperative that we do.
The bottom-line is our feelings matter and if we hope to truly heal and empower our lives, we simply cannot continue to ignore, hide, or suppress them.
We also cannot continue to separate our mental well being (Head) from our emotional well-being, (Heart).
Because everything begins with how we feel or with our feelings.
To put it simply:
Our feelings are our truth.
Re-posting that Disraeli quote I previously posted:
“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli
Exactly. Once more, our feelings are our truth.
Our feelings are who we really are at our CORE.
“There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.” ~ Mr. Rogers
And “wrestling with our problems” inevitably means to tap into and uncover our feelings.
Our feelings are who we are at whatever moment and time, and if our true feelings are being denied, are suppressed, are painful, are low, are negative, or are in any way acting against our best interests…
…our ultimate goal should be to first acknowledge and admit that we have them…
…second to own our feelings and the reasons why we feel them…
…third to honor our right to feel our feelings no matter how painful they may be…
…and fourth and finally to begin the process of working towards evolving and HEALING our feelings.
“There are so many people of all ages that need to heal and that also, for one reason or another, aren’t able to heal, or are maybe unaware they need to heal. If we hold on to grief it manifests itself and appears later in life, that is what I’ve learned.” ~ Harry, the Duke of Sussex
But what is grief?
Answer: Grief is first and foremost a feeling:
“Grief is mental or emotional suffering or distress caused by loss or regret. It’s especially used to refer to the feeling of sorrow and loss from the death of a loved one.” ~ Merriam-Webster Dictionary
So what must we do before we can eventually HEAL?
We must first be able to truly and honestly FEEL.
Before you can believe or think you are…
….you are only as strong, capable, healthy, resilient, smart, etc. as you FEEL.
In short it’s not just about the HEAD (mental/mindset), it is equally about the HEART, (feelings/emotions).
And that ladies and gents is the main reason why my soul guided me to create My Head Meets Heart Kits.
“When you FEEL, you HEAL.” ~Pam Jones, the Creator & Innovator of “My Head Meets Heart Kits”
*Please click on the following link to go to my Kofi page for a quick introduction to me and more depth about why I created My Head Meets Heart Kits.
Important Note: I’m a native Chicagoan born, bred and proud so a HEADS UP:
I begin most of the web pages on this website with brief videos hyping my hometown’s beauty and pure GORGEOUSNESS like…
…this Chicago the Beautiful Spotlight:
“Eventually, I think Chicago will be the most beautiful great city left in the world.” ~ Frank Lloyd Wright – Legendary Architect
***An Important Spotlight:
“We read to know we’re not alone.” ~ William Nicholson
This web page and website will be linking to many awesome books/audiobooks which I highly recommend.
For this reason, (or if you’re simply a book lover), here is an extremely valuable and smart resource which I highly suggest you check out:
Dubbed the “Netflix of Books”…
Book Lender is an online rental service for paperback and audiobooks,
Imagine having the latest titles and the best classics delivered right to your door.
No more trips to the library only to find out the items you want are already checked out.
No more costly trips to the local bookstore.
You have a choice of more than 250,000 titles
Book Lender offers Free shipping, no due dates and you can cancel anytime.
“A great book can make you see things in your soul that you have not yet discovered, make you see things in your soul that you were not aware of.” ~ Compass Circle
“There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.” ~ Walt Disney, (who was a native Chicagoan)
Now on to the topic at hand.
“Our emotional triggers are our wounds. It’s important that we heal them.” ~ Dr. Judith Orloff, author of the best-selling book “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
What is a trigger in the context of psychology?
“A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound, or sight that triggers feelings of trauma.” ~ Good Therapy.org
“…triggers feelings of trauma.”
It all begins with a trigger, and first and foremost a trigger is a feeling which typically causes us to feel negative or painful emotions and/or to potentially react in unhealthy ways.
Treating or focusing on mental health without also tackling emotional health is like a gardener chopping off a weed without first digging up the root.
When the weed is chopped off, the garden has the appearance of being weed free, but it’s not weed free because the root of the weed is still there in the ground and in time will grow back for the gardener to have to tackle again.
Cutting the weed (mental/mindset) and also digging up the root (emotional/feelings) ensures that the weed will soon be gone forever, never to be dealt with again.
And although tackling our head (mindset) and heart (feelings) unfortunately isn’t as easy as simply cutting down, digging up, and tossing the root of a weed, it is still imperative that we tackle both if authentic healing is our ultimate goal.
The following is just one critical reason why I strongly emphasize the need for us to begin taking serious steps to focus on and deal with our FEELINGS aka our emotional health alongside our mental health in this country:
These are stats reported in 2018 aka BEFORE a devastating pandemic hit the world:
Pacific Standard – December 2018 – The US Suicide Rate Is At Its Highest In A Half-Century
“America is facing a suicide crisis.
A new survey on mortality and life expectancy in the United States, released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), found that 47,000 Americans took their own lives in 2017—2,000 more than recorded in 2016. The national suicide rate has increased 33 percent between 1999 and 2017, according to the CDC’s National Vital Statistics System data. What’s worse, a broader Associated Press analysis of government records indicates that American suicides are now at their highest point in 50 years. It’s now the second-leading cause of death for Americans under the age of 35.” ~ Pacific Standard – December 2018
Update: The US suicide statistics from 2018, 2019, 2020, and 2021 prove that this HUGE epidemic is getting worse and worse and worse.
And here is the proof aka the #Receipts:
The Guardian – September 2018 – ‘A National Emergency’: Suicide Rate Spikes Among Young US Veterans
The Guardian – June 2018 – US Suicide Rate Has Risen Nearly 30% Since 1999, Federal Study Finds
“(Suicide) Rises above 30% in 25 states, CDC finds, driven by mental illness, substance abuse, financial hardship and relationship problems.”
NBC News – September 2019 – Suicide Rates Are Rising, Especially In Rural America
“(Suicide) Rates among people in rural counties were 25 percent higher than those in major metropolitan areas.”
The Washington Post – January 2020 – More Americans Are Killing Themselves At Work
And it get’s worse:
Business Insider – October 2019 – Suicide Is Gen Z’s Second-Leading Cause of Death, And It’s A Worse Epidemic Than Anything Millennials Faced At That Age
“Young people are dying from suicide at record rates.
The suicide rate among people aged 10 to 24 increased 56% between 2007 and 2017, according to a new report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The increase in youth suicide has also sped up recently, according to the report. Between 2007 and 2013, the suicide rate for young people grew at an average of 3% per year; between 2013 to 2017, that number shot up to 7% per year.
For children aged 10 to 14, the suicide rate tripled between 2007 to 2017 after years of decline. For teens between 15 and 19, the rate increased by 76% in that same time period.
Suicide was the second-leading cause of death for people aged 10 to 24 in 2017.” ~ Business Insider – October 2019
Sadly, suicide has been steadily growing in almost every American demographic, and that sadly includes our children and teens:
Case in point:
” A nearly 60% jump in suicides by young Americans since 2007 has experts alarmed and somewhat puzzled.”
“Suicides among children and young people aged 10 to 24 rose 57% from 2007 to 2018, according to a new report from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
“The increase in youth suicide has been pervasive across the U.S. No area is immune,” said report author Sally Curtin of the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics.” ~ US News & World Report– September 2020
To put it simply…
….this is UNACCEPTABLE.
Suicide absolutely cannot become the norm in this country.
People have got to know that there are other options out there other than taking their own lives.
People have to be made to feel that they can COPE with whatever difficulty or challenge life is presenting to them…
….no matter how hard, no matter how failed, no matter how much emotional pain they may feel.
The Washington Post – January 2020 – We Need To Pay More Attention to the Epidemic of Suicide
That article was written in January 2020 just a couple of months before the Covid pandemic hit the world and made our emotional and mental health and well-being much, much worse.
And that is an opinion column from the Washington Post, not a news story.
No mainstream media in this country is sounding the alarm by giving extensive and continuous coverage of this tragic suicide epidemic in the U.S. Instead it is being left up to a stray opinion columnist here or there to state the obvious…
…as if the need to pay serious attention to record numbers of children, teens, and adults killing themselves in America every year, a number that continues to grows every year is simply a matter of opinion.
*Important: If you are feeling suicidal or if you know someone who has attempted suicide or who struggles with suicidal feelings, I have an extremely important My Head Meets Heart Kit titled “If You Are Feeling Suicidal” which will be posted soon.
In the meantime, please click the following link for a simple 3 to 4 step plan I created which includes 100% Free tools and resources which you can access and use immediately to hopefully help to decrease or eliminate any suicidal thoughts, feelings, or tendencies hopefully within a matter of hours.
Please try them, here is the link:
If You Or If You Know Someone Who Is Suicidal Or Depressed, These All Natural Free Tools & Plan May Help You. (Link coming soon.)
*If you live in the USA and are about to, thinking about, or have repeated thoughts about committing suicide, contact the following toll free, 24/7 suicide prevention hotline:
And please know and understand that it WILL get better if you just hang in there and seek help:
Fast forward to 2022:
Karine Jean-Pierre just recently made history as the first Black person, (male or female), to be the White House Press Secretary in our nation’s history, and she is also the first openly Gay White House Press Secretary and also the first immigrant 🙂
That is something she would have never achieved if her suicide attempt had been successful.
Again please hang in there guys and gals. You have absolutely no idea what great things God or the Universe may have in store for you.
I promise you, it will get BETTER.
My Head Meets Heart Kits have been many years in the making….
….but I was first inspired to address the critically important topic of America’s continuously growing suicide epidemic on this website after Chester Bennington of the popular band Linkin Park took his own life in July 2017.
This happened right after I was already left reeling when one of my favorite music artists ever, Chris Cornell from one of my favorite rock bands, Soundgarden, also tragically took his own life in May 2017.
Like so many countless others are experiencing right now…
….Chris Cornell very sadly “Fell On Black Days.”
Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to light
Whatsoever I’ve fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded and now I’m doing time
Now I’m doing time
‘Cause I fell on black days
I fell on black days
Whomsoever I’ve cured, I’ve sickened now
And whomsoever I’ve cradled, I’ve put you down
I’m a search light soul they say
But I can’t see it in the night
I’m only faking when I get it right
When I get it right
‘Cause I fell on black days
I fell on black days
How would I know
That this could be my fate?
How would I know
That this could be my fate?” ~ Lyrics from Soundgarden’s hit song “Fell On Black Days” recorded in Seattle in 1993, almost 30 years ago.
“I’ve always liked depressing music because a lot of times, listening to it when you’re down can actually make you feel less depressed.” ~ Chris Cornell
That’s because humans need an outlet for their feelings, and listening to great, soul stirring music, particularly music which helps to put our dark or troubled feelings into words, can play a HUGE role in being that outlet.
And we ALL need an outlet.
Outlet: a means of release or satisfaction for an emotion or impulse ~ Merriam Webster Dictionary
Without an outlet to release our negative and dark feelings and emotions, we end up either pretending they don’t exist, stuffing them deep inside, or simply hiding them…
…and while we pretend, stuff or hide our dark feelings and emotions, they tend to fester and become worse and that’s how suicidal thoughts and feelings tend to manifest.
“Hiding sadness makes you more and more sad because it closes you off to your healing. Giving voice to what you’re feeling is part of healing.” ~ Susan L. Taylor
My Head Meets Heart Kits were created to offer MANY valuable and effective tools and resources to help anyone to give an outlet, a voice, a process to hopefully heal and eventually release their negative feelings and emotions so they don’t remain festering inside of you.
“When all of a sudden you’re successful and sought after overnight, you are instantly opened to a lot of sides of humanity that the average person is never going to see. And those can often be pretty disheartening, and it can make somebody pretty lonely.” ~ Chris Cornell
Chris Cornell. Chester Bennington. Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. Robin Williams. Kurt Cobain. Tony Scott. Aaron Swartz. Mindy McCready. Alexander McQueen. L’Wren Scott. Don Cornelius. Cheslie Kryst.
What did all of these notable, rich, and ridiculously talented individuals all have in common other than they all tragically committed suicide?
The answer is they all were at the top of their game.
They had all reached the pinnacle of success in their individual careers and professions, what American society claims is the be all and end all….
…..yet they killed themselves.
According to the conventional wisdom in this country, they had it all, right?
In addition to storied and highly successful professional careers, many had children and/or loving partners and families.
They had Fame.
They had Fortune.
Many had Loved Ones…so why did they choose to end it all?
As the tragic list keeps growing.
*Actress Ashley Judd, (daughter of Naomi Judd, who was one half of the very popular country music duo The Judds), recently revealed that her dear mother used a gun to commit suicide.
Would you be surprised to learn that the far and away #1 leading cause of gun death in America is not gun violence, but people who commit suicide?
Personally, I was shocked.
“Suicides have historically accounted for a majority of gun deaths in the United States.
In 2020, 53 percent of suicides involved firearms, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Gun deaths reached the highest number ever recorded in the United States in 2020, when more than 24,000 people died by gun-related suicide and more than 19,350 people died by gun-related homicide.” ~ The New York Times – May 2022
This is a senseless tragedy that only happens in America.
The U.S. is the #1 country in the world where both suicides, mass shootings, and gun deaths happen at this sheer number and magnitude.
No other country comes close even though the U.S. isn’t even close to being the most populous country.
Is this what is meant by American Exceptionalism?
Gun death epidemic. Mass shooting epidemic. Suicide epidemic. Drug/Opioid addiction and overdose epidemic. Homelessness epidemic. Child Poverty epidemic. Low Wage epidemic. Lack of Affordable Housing epidemic. Poor Health epidemic. Lack of Affordable Health Care epidemic. Mental Health epidemic. Pandemic death epidemic.
I could go on and on.
The problem is America is exceptional in too many wrong ways.
And the main reason for that is too few of those in position to do something seem to care.
Part of the problem is also the corporation-owned mainstream media which absolutely refuses to hold those in political power accountable even though the vast majority of Americans want this uniquely American gun carnage to END:
At what point does America acknowledge they it’s citizens are living in the midst of perpetual, constant, and seemingly never ending crisis on too many fronts to count and the devastating harm that is doing to them?
Case in point:
“Depression Affects 40 Million U.S. Adults
“Known as an invisible disease, nearly 50,000 American adults suffering from depression committed suicide in 2019, according to the CDC.”
“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.”
This quote is by actor/comedian Robin Williams who suffered from depression for many years before committing suicide in August 2014.” ~ Salem Medical Center – October 2021
Going back to the escalation of tragic suicides recently seen amongst the talented, rich, and famous…
…again why did they choose to end it all?
Of course we will never know the answer to that difficult question, and there is no cookie cutter reason why.
These were all highly unique individuals with their own set of highly unique issues and their own highly unique pain.
Having said that, I couldn’t help thinking to myself….
….if these people who are rich, famous, beautiful and so very loved and admired by a countless number of people around the world couldn’t see themselves living to weather through their deep pain and despair….
….how is the average person without all those advantages, the adulation, the resources, the loved ones, the fans, etc. dealing with those very same rock-bottom, severely depressed, and suicidal feelings going to manage or survive?
The above tweet is from Bernice King, the daughter of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Considering that she has lived with the sheer horror of her father being assassinated when she was a very young girl, I’m sure she can indeed testify to the truth of Will Smith’s spot on statement:
“You can’t achieve your way out of childhood trauma.” ~ Will Smith
I too can testify to this 100% truth…
….and I can also testify to the remedy I was forced to discover to deal with my own dark night of the soul which began with the most traumatic event I have ever experienced…
….and that remedy is to help make the lives of others better.
In fact it’s the primary reason why My Head Meets Heart Kits exist.
“Will Smith lays it all out: All the external reward in the world won’t fix your inner turmoil. Work through your own trauma and then find peace in helping others.” ~ Garry Tan via Twitter
Of course our ultimate purpose in life is to excel and succeed in whatever profession, destiny, or life path we were born here to do or follow…
….but we absolutely cannot use our drive to achieve and succeed as a substitute to facing and dealing with are emotional pain, traumas, and issues and expect to be happy or healed in the end….
….because that’s not how humans or how life works.
“Simpson” is Jessica Simpson who revealed her own unresolved childhood trauma via childhood sexual abuse and her subsequent addiction issues as a result in a book released n 2020:
USA Today – January 2020 – Jessica Simpson Reveals Sexual Abuse As a Child, Alcohol Addiction In New Memoir, ‘Open Book’
“I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but by how high he bounces when he hits bottom.” ~ George Patton
But why are some able to eventually bounce back once they hit rock bottom, while others shatter from the impact?
“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths.” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
But what if for some the struggle is just too painful to bear?
News Flash: Absolutely no one is made of concrete or teflon.
No one is tough and strong all the time, even when they look or seem like they are.
That’s simply not the way God made us…
…which is to be empathetic, messy, complex, and multi-dimensional HUMANS.
“It’s the hard things that break; soft things don’t break. It was an epiphany I had today and I just wonder why it took me so very, very long to see it! You can waste so many years of your life trying to become something hard in order not to break; but it’s the soft things that can’t break! The hard things are the ones that shatter into a million pieces.” ~ C. JoyBell C.
A few years ago Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex did something extremely rare and revolutionary, particularly for someone in the global public eye.
What did she do?
Duchess Meghan was publicly very brave and extremely vulnerable enough to show the world how she really feels about the British Media’s 24/7 bullying, harassing, and in many instances racist treatment of her.
Instead of doing what 99% of people typically do when asked how they are doing, which is to pretend like everything is A-OK….…
…..Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex let it be known she was not OK.
The truth of the matter is we are a society of pretenders as the following brief video featuring a pivotal scene from the hit former TV series Scandal perfectly illustrates:
“Pretending is what’s real.”
Many people have been taught or conditioned to pretend their way through life.
They have been taught or conditioned to pretend that everything is okay, even when it’s not.
When people aren’t given the space or permission to be real, to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to be honest, to be imperfect etc. without ridicule, condemnation, or scorn…
….all to keep up appearances, to “keep up with the Joneses” or to pretend to live an impossibly perfect, mess-free, and ideal life…
…and when it becomes too hard to pretend, too hard to ignore, too hard to hide, too hard to suppress, or too hard to hold in or to escape their demons or inner pain…
….many will eventually BREAK.
For many people, pretending is indeed what is “real” to them, and these are the folks who inevitably end up shattering and breaking from trying to forever maintain their pretense or facade.
Addictions happen, depression happens, and suicides happen, all which are currently at epidemic numbers in the U.S. and are tragically killing tens of thousands of Americans every year.
“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel and in exchange put on a mask.” ~ Jim Morrison – Rock Legend – (1943 – 1971)
Wow! That last sentence….
“You give up your ability to feel and in exchange put on a mask.”
Case in point:
“If people said, ‘How are you?’ I’d be like ‘fine,’” Prince Harry added. “Never happy. Never sad, just fine. Fine was the easy answer. But I was all over the place mentally.”
“I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling,” he revealed, adding that he’d drink “a week’s worth of alcohol” on a Friday or Saturday night “not because I was enjoying it, but because I was trying to mask something.”
Excerpts from The Hollywood Reporter article titled “Prince Harry Reveals He Used Drugs, Alcohol to Cope With Diana’s Death” – May 2021
To recap, in an effort to cope with his immense grief from his mother’s death, Prince Harry said he would drink “a week’s worth of alcohol” on a Friday or Saturday night “not because I was enjoying it, but because I was trying to mask something.”
Here’s the thing:
When you don’t honor yourself enough to express your true feelings or to express how you really feel, you will inevitably end up pretending…
…and in that pretense you may end up unconsciously wearing an invisible MASK.
“Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending – performing. You get to love your pretense. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act – and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks.” ~ Jim Morrison – Rock Legend – (1943 – 1971)
Prince Harry’s wife Duchess Meghan chose to do something extremely rare in public life….
….to not wear a mask and to just be and express her TRUE self and her TRUE feelings…
…and many who are so use to and so attached to their own masks were horrified.
Here is an Australian journalist’s take on those in her profession and elsewhere who were outraged that Duchess Meghan had the absolute gall to express her true feelings in that brief interview:
“I have noticed that in all of the coverage of (Duchess) Meghan’s silly, self-indulgent feelings, no one seems to dispute they truly exist. Most people with a pulse can understand why a new mother might feel a little vulnerable when in a strange land, subjected to constant nasty press and marooned in a gilded palace-machine with frosty in-laws, no real friends and a bunch of staff who are probably spying on you.
It is not the feelings, it is the talking about the feelings that makes people uncomfortable, and angry. Isn’t that odd? And what does that say about us?” ~ Jacqueline Maley – The Sydney Morning Herald – October 2019
Indeed. What does that say about us?
“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.” ~ Andre Berthiaume
Yes and when masks get removed or when they are compromised, that is usually when many people BREAK.
Why do so many people wear masks?
I think it’s because in Western society, the culprit or villain is openly and authentically expressing feelings.
In fact authentically expressing feelings is seen as a crime more than actually having feelings. That’s one reason why so many people hide, suppress, or ignore how they really feel.
“It is not the feelings, it is the talking about the feelings that makes people uncomfortable, and angry. Isn’t that odd? And what does that say about us?” ~ Jacqueline Maley – The Sydney Morning Herald – October 2019
This is why so many people wear permanent masks most times without even realizing it:
“Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel?” ~ Jim Morrison
Good question, Jim. How can you truly love if you deny yourself the ability to feel?
Can you truly know what love is without freely and authentically expressing whatever it is that you feel, whether it’s good or ill?
Going back to the rare and raw honesty of Duchess Meghan, I’m happy to say that not all people were mean or mean-spirited towards her courageously and honestly expressing her true feelings. 🙂
Within hours of her shocking revelation, countless people from around the world rewarded Duchess Meghan’s immense bravery in being vulnerable enough to be honest about how she really felt about the toxic British Media’s foul, bullying, and abusive treatment of her in that brief interview with the #1 trending worldwide hashtag #WeLoveYouMeghan on social media.
“#WeLoveYouMeghan is trending on Twitter.” ~ InStyle Magazine
And here was Duchess Meghan’s smiling and appreciative face at a public event surrounded by applauding crowds on their feet just a couple of days later. 🙂
It looks like Michelle Obama was absolutely correct when she said the following:
“If you stay true to who you are, the world will embrace you.” ~ Michelle Obama
Duchess Meghan received overwhelming support and praise from around the world for her raw honesty and immense bravery in showing her true feelings in that interview seen around the world and also in showing her vulnerability.
Why? Because this is such a rare thing seen in both public and private life.
“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” ~ Brene Brown – Daring Greatly which you can pick up here at Book Lender
For those who unconsciously wear one, its important to know your mask may be doing you much more harm than good.
It’s likely preventing you from being the REAL you or your true authentic self.
“Separating who we are from our facade isn’t always a straightforward process. Yet, it’s a necessary step in pursuing our life purpose, finding legitimate community, having worthwhile relationships, and being comfortable in our own skin. Moreover, by being someone you are not, you are telling yourself that who you really are is not ok.” ~ Seneca Schurbon, author of the book “Flower Power: Essences That Heal” which is about Flower Essence Therapy, one of the main non-toxic and all natural healing modalities in My Head Meets Heart Kits. You can pick up this excellent book here at Book Lender.
Seeking to be comfortable, to keep up appearances, to “keep up with the Joneses”…
….all while living a life of phoniness and pretense…
…could have serious ramifications on your mental, emotional, and very likely even your physical health and well-being sooner or later.
“I think most middle-class Americans are in a holding pattern of comfort. They have a desire to keep up appearances, and then those appearances take on such a semblance of reality that the people living them believe they have to borrow money to maintain a lifestyle that was phony in the first place.” ~ Ryan Blair, author of the book “Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
Maybe it’s time for everyone to start dropping their masks and being REAL.
Innovating a simple, step by step process to help anyone who wishes to do that is a major reason why I created My Head Meets Heart Kits. 🙂
Business Insider – December 2019 – Lonely, Burned Out, And Depressed: The State Of Millennials’ Mental Health Entering The 2020s
Indeed, and that is why I felt compelled to do what I could to offer what I hope will be immediate help and hopefully some tangible relief to those who are now feeling suicidal, for those who are now in deep despair, or for those who are now greatly suffering mentally and emotionally in any way.
*I created My Head Meets Heart Kits to be beneficial for teens and young adults as well….
….plus there is a special My Head Meets Heart Kit which I created specifically to help children.
One more thing before I move on…
RIP Chris Cornell. You are missed and forever LOVED.
(1964 – 2017)
“There’s sadness to anyone that dies before their time, and specifically ones that seem to affect people in a positive way. It doesn’t matter if it’s Whitney Houston or a nameless, faceless person on the street. That’s just as big of a tragedy for me.”
“I think there needs to be a global focus on people taking care of people.”~ Chris Cornell
Chris Cornell ended the song “Fell On Black Days” with the following words:
“I sure don’t mind a change.”
One reason why I innovated and created My Head Meets Heart Kits is to possibly offer anyone who needs that pivotal and healing change for the better in their life.
I recently came across an important video on YouTube which featured a man named Jeff Tolley recounting his near death experience after he had attempted suicide because he could not handle or process the immense pain and grief he felt as a result of his much loved younger brother’s death.
“Leaving the body is the only thing that made sense to alleviate the pain.” ~ Jeff Tolley on the reason why he tried to kill himself – (December 2021)
This intro page for My Head Meets Heart Kits shines a critical focus on the ever increasing and extremely concerning suicide epidemic that has been gripping and plaguing America for many years, and which seems to be getting worse and worse as each year goes by.
I focus on America’s highly troubling suicide epidemic so extensively because I believe this tragic and I believe preventable epidemic is the result of deep and traumatic emotions and feelings being ignored, suppressed, denied and unprocessed by so many Americans.
“Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” ~ Dale Carnegie
That Carnegie wisdom is very true, but unfortunately focusing on inner conditions aka focusing on and addressing emotions, feelings, and how we really feel is in no way encouraged in the US.
I personally believe this feelings deficit is one major reason for many of America’s problems and ills.
Getting back to the video I stumbled across on YouTube featuring Jeff Tolley, he briefly but vividly recounted his near death experience after his unsuccessful suicide attempt, and in doing so Jeff perfectly illustrated just what those painful and unprocessed emotions look and feel like for many.
Here is the relevant excerpt of what Jeff Tolley said he was shown about the emotional body during his near death experience:
*These are Jeff’s words transcribed from the video verbatim.
“We have these different bodies, one being emotional, one being mental, spiritual and physical. The emotional body looked like a blanket and it was a heavy blanket, a heavy dark blanket. There are memories that live in the emotional body. I could see flashes of memories, it was like a storm. It (emotional body) really is like the weather system of the body. It was dark and gloomy, and there was flashes of light, and memory was held in the emotional body, not just the mind.” ~ Jeff Tolley as transcribed from his YouTube video.
Note: Please do yourself a HUGE favor and watch the full video featuring Jeff Tolley’s fascinating recount of his near death experience here at this link. It’s less than 8 minutes and you won’t regret it.
Keep in mind that all of the above was revealed to Jeff Tolley during a near death experience or while he was briefly on the other side of the veil.
I’ve personally never had a near death experience, but Jeff’s description certainly aligns with what my soul/intuitive guidance has been revealing to me for many years during the creation of My Head Meets Heart Kits, particularly about the emotional body and about memories not only residing in the mind or mental body.
If our emotions and feelings aka our emotional body is ignored or left unaddressed, as Jeff Tolley described, it can be like a dark and heavy blanket cloaking us and weighted down with all of our painful memories, unprocessed traumas, suppressed emotions, etc.
And that is in large part why I created My Head Meets Heart Kits.
What time is it, ladies and gents?
It’s time to feel a lot LESS BROKEN, and a lot less FRAGILE.
It’s time to feel much STRONGER via allowing ourselves to tap into our emotions and feelings.
Most importantly it’s time for us to FEEL so we can eventually HEAL.
The good news? This one of a kind website will show you HOW.
“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.” ~ Nelson Mandela
A WHOLE LOT of shocking and unprecedented stuff is happening in America and in the world right now, and it’s making many people uncomfortable, confused, and many people are even scared or frightened for America’s in addition to humanity’s future.
In short, what so many fear is CHANGE.
Darwin said it best:
“To change is difficult. Not to change is fatal.” ~ Charles Darwin
As we humans and as a society shifts and CHANGES at this once in an age time, take a few minutes to mark this momentous occasion by listening to the renowned vocalist and songwriter Rickie Byars’ beautiful song titled “As Seasons Change.”
“Change can be hard, scary, and extremely uncomfortable, but change is the only way we can mature, evolve, grow, and achieve progress throughout our lives. For this reason, no matter how difficult, painful or challenging it may be, change is ultimately a GOOD thing.” ~ Pam Jones
Now please take a pause to listen to Rickie Byars extremely timely and truly lovely song titled “As Seasons Change.”
“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” ~ Gail Sheehy, author of the wonderful book “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
The caveat to all of this?
Such monumental CHANGE usually means doing things much differently than has been done before.
Which brings me back to the vital need for us to tap into how we really FEEL.
“We need to start focusing on what matters – on how we FEEL, and how we feel about ourselves.” ~ Michelle Obama, author of the best-selling book “Becoming” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
That sounds great, but what if we don’t know how we really feel about ourselves or where to start?
This may be difficult for many because American/Western society unfortunately does not typically encourage us towards introspection, self awareness, or self reflection.
“I don’t think we spend enough time in reflection and introspection. We don’t know who we are as individuals in this culture any more.” ~ Naomi Judd
In fact, some seem to see it as a badge of honor to mock having FEELINGS or to just simply FEEL.
Unfortunately having and expressing feelings and emotions is looked down on, denigrated, mocked, and shunned in many parts of American society, (particularly when it comes to MEN).
“I live in a 30 thousand square foot house by myself. You don’t think I know I messed up?” ~ Shaquille O’Neal
The truth of the matter is Western society, (America in particular), is absolutely disdainful or downright petrified of having or displaying emotions/feelings:
“Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.” ~ Jim Morrison
Having or displaying feelings, (especially if pain or suffering is involved), is thought to be so wrong or dangerous in America that many are penalized for even having them.
In fact, we live in a society where if genuine feelings and emotions of pain and suffering are not being denigrated, mocked, or shunned, they are being faked by aspiring YouTubers solely for clicks.
The Independent – September 2021 – YouTuber Deletes Channel After Being Caught Coaching Her Son to Cry on Camera Over Their Sick Dog
In my opinion these extreme examples, (in addition to many more common reasons), are why so many Americans have a totally distorted view of feelings/emotions.
Many Americans also have absolutely no idea how they really feel about themselves.
We as humans typically do not know that our subconscious minds and hearts are holding on to some really toxic and debilitating thought processes, feelings, traumas, and painful emotions from both our past and our present.
These unprocessed feelings subconsciously impact us on a daily basis, whether we realize it or not.
They unconsciously run or guide our lives, mostly to our detriment.
“Living in a mechanized, high-pressure world, we become divorced from our feelings, at the cost of much emotional pain and self-defeating behavior.” ~ Donna Cunningham
These unprocessed and mostly unconscious feelings, emotions and traumas need to be acknowledged, addressed, worked on, and eventually healed and resolved if we are to ever feel happy, safe, at peace, or to truly live the lives we desire and dream of.
If we are ever to truly HEAL.
Answer: The vast majority of us are trying not to think about it.
These suppressed, hidden, often toxic and frequently debilitating feelings and emotions are often connected to extremely painful traumatic events which happened to us in the past and can go as far back as early childhood.
A small example of these very painful emotions and feelings include:
grief, anger, betrayal, bitterness, resentment, shame, fear, self hate, prejudice, envy, jealousy, regret, guilt, unworthiness, non-forgiveness, low self esteem, abandonment, heartache, rejection, low confidence, sadness, lack of self love, depressed, anxious, suicidal thoughts, apathy, negativity, etc.
All of these are extremely negative, low vibrational, and toxic energy emotional and mental feeling states…
….even if you have extremely understandable reasons why you feel them.
If you are unconsciously or subconsciously suppressing and as a result holding on to these painful emotions, feelings and traumas from past or present traumatic events or situations, depending on how many and how dense those sabotaging emotions are, you may have an extremely difficult time coping with life in a healthy, cohesive, and emotionally secure way.
For some, the FEELINGS and EMOTIONS residing in the heart must be addressed FIRST or addressed simultaneously along with addressing any physical and mental health issues because our emotional state very much contributes to or detracts from our overall physical and mental health and well-being.
In fact our feelings are the starting point.
And sadly many Americans need a LOT of help in maintaining their overall health:
“Americans’ health is even worse than we thought, ranking below 16 other developed nations.” ~ The Atlantic Magazine – January 2013
That worrisome quote is from a disturbing January 2013 Atlantic Magazine article titled “New Health Rankings: Of 17 Nations, U.S. Is Dead Last.”
Yes you read that correctly…DEAD LAST.
More from The Atlantic article:
“The news is that this is across the lifespan, and regardless of income,” said Georges Benjamin, executive director of the American Public Health Association, who was not an author of the study. “A lot of people thought it was underserved populations that were driving the statistics — the poor, the uninsured. They still are a big part of our challenge, but the fact that even if you’re fairly well-to-do you still have these problems shatters that myth.” ~ The Atlantic Magazine – January 2013
I’m so glad that it was pointed out in this troubling article that poor health is not just a problem of the poor. It most definitely is also a problem of the well to do and everyone in between.
Finally that MYTH has been shattered.
You can read more of The Atlantic’s sobering 2013 article titled “New Health Rankings: Of 17 Nations, U.S. Is Dead Last” here:
Then there is this from an even more troubling New York Times article titled “For Americans Under 50, Stark Findings On Health.”
“Panelists were surprised at just how consistently Americans ended up at the bottom of the rankings. The United States had the second-highest death rate from the most common form of heart disease, the kind that causes heart attacks, and the second-highest death rate from lung disease, a legacy of high smoking rates in past decades. American adults also have the highest diabetes rates. Youths fared no better. The United States has the highest infant mortality rate among these countries, and its young people have the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancy and deaths from car crashes. Americans lose more years of life before age 50 to alcohol and drug abuse than people in any of the other countries. Americans also had the lowest probability over all of surviving to the age of 50. The report’s second chapter details health indicators for youths where the United States ranks near or at the bottom. There are so many that the list takes up four pages. Chronic diseases, including heart disease, also played a role for people under 50.” ~ The New York Times – January 2013
Chilling isn’t it?
Keep in mind, this was our reality many years before a devastatingly deadly pandemic hit the world and made America’s health and well-being much worse as a result.
*As of December 14th 2021, more than 800,000 Americans have tragically died from the Covid pandemic.
Keep in mind that China and India each have almost 1.5 billion citizens, yet America which clocks in at only approximately 330 million citizens overwhelmingly leads the world in pandemic deaths.
More than 800,000 deaths as of December 14th, 2021 with the number of deaths tragically growing more and more every day since then.
Update as of May 2022:
And this incalculable number of deaths….
…by far the world’s most pandemic deaths of any country…
…absolutely did not have to happen:
In addition to the extremely poor government response across two presidential administrations, could America’s pre-existing poor health, (in addition to the lack of health care access for millions of Americans), have played a major role in why the current pandemic has devastated America more than any other country in the world?
This is precisely why above I posted excerpts and links to articles from 2013 to prove just how poor the health of Americans have been for many years.
I wanted to prove this has been a long term problem for America which has now only gotten much worse with the current extremely toxic, troubled, and pandemic plagued state our country is now in.
I think a solid argument could be made that the proven record of the many years long subpar health of tens of millions of Americans is one reason why America overwhelmingly leads the world in COVID diagnoses, illnesses, and deaths.
Especially considering that as of last year, and even with us thankfully having the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) for now more than a decade, still very little has actually changed.
And please remember there are REAL people behind these tragic and staggering pandemic deaths in the US.
More than a million lives tragically cut short by this deadly pandemic in addition to countless millions of family members, friends, and loved ones now left to live with with the added trauma of devastating loss, pain, grief, and mourning.
*With the countless millions of Americans currently living with the death of one or more loved ones from this unprecedented Covid pandemic in addition to losing one or more loved ones from the suicide epidemic, from the opioid/drug epidemic, from the gun violence epidemic in addition to the millions of other Americans lost from ill health, lack of healthcare, poverty, a tragic accident, or from some other devastating reason in mind….
…I have created a My Head Meets Heart Kit titled “Coping With Grief” which you can access and begin utilizing immediately and for Free if necessary.
Please try it. It will help you. 🙂
The following quote from the World Health Organization (WHO) rings *almost* true, particularly for the perilous times we are all living through right now:
“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” ~ World Health Organization (WHO)
In my opinion WHO’s statement would be 100% true and on point with the inclusion of emotional well-being.
Maybe WHO was substituting the vague and not easily understood “social well-being” for emotional well-being, but it is high time for international governing bodies like WHO to stop being afraid of acknowledging the importance of addressing human emotion and human feelings aka humanity’s emotional health.
In regard to the physical aspect of health, it’s really difficult to be healthy and virus resistant in addition to being happy, grateful, positive, loving, appreciative, to be of service to our fellow man/woman, energetic, focused, creative, etc. if we are in pain, sick, have no energy, are depressed, are stressed out, are emotionally vulnerable, are filled with anxiety, low self esteem, fear, emotional pain, etc.
All of these physical states are in large part connected to our overall physical, mental and emotional health.
They are also connected to our level of overall well being.
In other words we cannot be happy if we are living with poor health on any level…
….and in addition to our PHYSICAL and MENTAL health, that also includes our EMOTIONAL health.
So often the latter of the three is completely ignored or forgotten but our emotional health and well being is as EQUALLY important as our mental and physical health and well being are.
I liken ignoring our emotional health and well-being to a three legged stool.
If one leg of the stool is broken, no matter how strong the other two legs are the entire stool is broken or unable to function or stand. The stool is now dysfunctional.
The Father of Medicine, Hippocrates very well knew and taught this truth:
“Illness occurs when the body’s systems are toxic and out of balance. One must treat the body as a whole, rather than a series of parts.” ~ Hippocrates – The Father of Medicine – (464-370 BC)
Treating the body as a WHOLE as Hippocrates so wisely advised, means treating the body HOLISTICALLY by paying attention to, maintaining, and cultivating our Physical, Mental and Emotional Health when it comes to doing whatever we can to maintain or achieve optimum whole body health overall.
Most importantly, we can no longer exclude or ignore our FEELINGS.
Our feelings (emotional health) MUST be treated on an equal status with our physical and mental health or we will always be in a state of lacking and/or dysfunction on some level in our bodies, no matter what we do.
“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~ Buddha
If the addressing of our feelings and work on our Emotional Health does not happen, some will keep wondering why their overall health is always an issue or bad.
If our emotional health is ignored, some will wonder why happiness and contentment always alludes them.
Some will wonder why they keep failing at relationships, friendships, etc. in spite of everything they’ve tried.
If some have been trying really hard to live a happy and successful life yet keep failing, they may eventually deem themselves undeserving of the happy and successful life they hope to live, no matter how hard they try to create it for themselves.
That is in no way true.
“We all have that inner voice that cheerleads and champions and reminds us of our worth.” ~ Quote from then actress, business owner, and humanitarian Meghan Markle, now the Duchess of Sussex – (From her former lifestyle website The Tig)
Sometimes making the best decisions in life comes down to listening to and being guided by our inner voice aka our intuition.
When you observe people who seem to always make the right decision for the best life direction to go in, this typically is what they are doing, just like Duchess Meghan has so obviously done throughout her life.
It’s something that many highly accomplished and immensely successful people have done:
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs
Having said that, I wish those true and empowering words that I typed above from Meghan the Duchess of Sussex were true for everyone, but unfortunately the awareness of the importance of following our intuition or being guided by our singular and unique inner voice isn’t a reality for many if not a reality for most people.
*Another word for our intuition and inner voice is following our instincts.
Notice that they all begin with “I” aka YOU.
How appropriate considering that it all begins from within (withIN) each of us as individuals, (INdividuals).
“If you take a look at the biggest mistakes of your life, many of them happen when you’re not paying attention to your real feelings – or worse, when you’re trying to override your gut responses and ignore your instincts.” ~ Donna Cunningham
Sadly many people are not aware that they do indeed have a powerful inner voice instincts, or intuition which guides them…
…much less do they know they have an inner voice inside of them which cheerleads and champions them on behalf of their own worthiness.
“Intuition is perception via the unconscious that brings forth ideas, images, new possibilities and ways out of blocked situations.” ~ Carl Jung
That awareness of our intuition/inner voice/instincts is something that must be taught, learned, and cultivated in many people or else they will have no idea that this extremely valuable inner resource even exists.
“Your intuition will tell you where you need to go; it will connect you with people you should meet; it will guide you toward work that is meaningful for you – work that brings you joy, work that feels right for you.” ~ Shakti Gawain, author of the incredible book “Living in the Light: Follow Your Inner Guidance to Create a New Life and a New World” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
*Check out My Head Meets Heart Kit titled Develop Your Intuition if you have a hard time or problems accessing or being guided by your inner voice/intuition/instincts.
Utilizing this one of kind kit will hopefully help you to no longer have that problem.
“The only real valuable thing is intuition.” ~ Albert Einstein
Why am I bringing up the topic of intuition?
Because to follow your intuition means to follow your heart.
Legendary Apple founder Steve Jobs knew the deal:
“And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs
And to follow your heart means you have to tap into your FEELINGS.
Some of the many negative feelings, thought processes, and toxic emotions which many times inhibits our awareness and connection with our intuition/inner voice have been in play for decades or since our childhoods.
For this reason, some of us require lots of extremely worthwhile and de-programming self work, but we should also recognize that this valuable self work, self learning and eventual self healing won’t happen overnight.
But here’s the thing…
If you develop a habit of doing the necessary self work DAILY on your emotional and mental trauma issues and feelings, no matter how hard or painful that work may be…
….and if you remain consistent about it even when it gets tough…
….the negative feelings and emotions within you WILL eventually begin to lighten up.
They may even eventually disappear, though it may be a slow, tedious, and for some, a painful process.
That’s because you may have to finally confront painful feelings and emotions you have avoided and stuffed deep down inside of you; feelings that haven’t yet been addressed or resolved because you understandably wanted to suppress, escape, or ignore them.
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.” ~ Carl Jung
Dr. Jung is exactly correct because we are ultimately here to grow, mature, and to EVOLVE…
…but we can’t evolve without LEARNING…
….and we can’t truly learn without EXPERIENCING…
…and many of those experiences will indeed be painful.
This all brings me back to My Head Meets Heart Kits.
My Head Meets Heart Kits were created by yours truly to help anyone to do the necessary self work to finally begin dealing with these self sabotaging thought processes, feelings, and emotions, but I’m not going to kid you…
….that self work most definitely won’t be easy.
Although the goal of my custom kits is to accelerate your own self healing via targeted self work, self learning and self healing, make no mistake about it…
….it is indeed still WORK.
For the record, we were not born here on earth to live an easy, challenge free, or superficial life, ladies and gents.
None of us were. If we are here for any extended period of time, we are mainly here because we have important life lessons to learn or to activate the life lessons of others.
“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” ~ Arthur Ashe, the late Tennis legend and author of the incredible book “Days of Grace” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
Indeed the doing is definitely more important, and the doing which goes into utilizing My Head Meets Heart Kits on a daily basis will be more than worthwhile for those who are up to taking the challenge of growing, evolving, and changing for the better vs resisting change or choosing not to evolve, grow, or thrive.
The My Head Meets Heart Kits process is simple.
Just choose a custom kit and choose and then USE the powerful highly effective non-toxic tools and modalities contained within it daily as directed.
Make it your daily practice towards self care, inner peace, self evolution, and most importantly towards self healing.
The Good News?
Quite a few of the non-toxic, all natural yet very effective tools and modalities included in my custom, one of a kind kits are 100% Free, while the remaining tools are extremely affordable.
Each My Head Meets Heart Kit also comes with several additional Free Bonus Self Care Tools for you to utilize as well.
80% of the highly effective, non-toxic, and all natural modalities contained in each of my one of a kind custom kits are accessible immediately.
This means that absolutely EVERYONE can begin addressing their negative, self sabotaging, and traumatic feelings, emotions, issues, etc. TODAY by utilizing one of my highly unique one of a kind kits….
…and you can even begin utilizing your selected kit for 100% Free if necessary.
The topics and issues covered by My Head Meets Heart Kits make it crystal clear that I mean business.
In the several years I have spent contemplating, analyzing, researching, developing, and creating My Head Meets Heart Kits, I was guided to create kits which centered around some of the most difficult, most complex, and most perplexing problems and issues of our times; problems and issues which people from all walks of life are now sadly suffering from.
My personal mandate was to develop and create something extremely affordable with non-toxic and all natural tools and resources which could also be utilized for Free if necessary to create as few barriers as possible to anyone utilizing each kit.
My mandate was also to develop a possible solution to these complex and difficult problems and issues.
*Note that I said possible.
Let me state upfront that I’m not promising anything.
My Head Meets Heart Kits attempts to tackle and *hopefully* resolve, (or at least make better), many critical and previously hard to solve issues, problems, etc.
If you have issues with chronic or suppressed anger which you have a hard time dealing with or which constantly gets you into trouble, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have a difficult time letting go of your past so that you can move forward into a brighter future, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are living with depression, chronic sadness, or would just like to feel happy, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are having a hard time forgiving yourself or others, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are addicted to online porn and would like to release this harmful and soul destroying addiction, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have difficulty expressing your true feelings to others, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have issues with shyness, social phobia, or have difficulty making new friends, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you have issues with drinking too much or alcoholism, there is a kit which may help you.
If you would like to improve your health and well-being, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you don’t feel attractive or are a woman with a fear of aging, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are dealing with painkiller or heroin addictions, believe it or not, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you have tried and tried to give up smoking cigarettes or marijuana but have been unable to do so, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you have tried and tried to lose weight and/or keep weight off once you lose it, or have difficulties with eating healthier or exercising, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are a man who suffers from sexual performance anxiety, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are a woman or man who has given up on ever finding true love or are having difficulty attracting love, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are a woman or man who has a hard time enjoying sexual intimacy, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have no idea what your calling or life’s purpose is, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are an athlete or a competitor who wants to take your athletic performance potential to a higher and possibly winning level, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are a high school, college, graduate, or any other kind of student who would like to excel more in your studies, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have problems or issues with being kind, being compassionate, being empathetic, or expressing or feeling love and emotion, there are multiples kits which may help you.
If you suffer from feelings of unworthiness, self hate, body dysmorphia (body shame), low self confidence, or low self esteem, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are INFJ, HSP, an Introvert, Highly Sensitive, or an Empath struggling to cope and thrive while living in these extremely chaotic and soul hurting times, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have a fear of rejection, particularly when approaching men or women you are interested in dating, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are having difficulty healing from a breakup, divorce, or a broken heart, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are a woman who keeps attracting and being with the wrong kind of men i.e. men who use, abuse, or take advantage of you, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you work in a creative field, (writer, music artist, screenwriter, filmmaker, advertising, fashion, etc), but have a difficult time coming up with creative ideas or content, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are having problems with debt, would like to earn more money, or would like to release your subconscious blocks to earning and/or deserving more money, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you would like to attract your soulmate, your ideal partner, or to just feel relaxed and comfortable while dating, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are a writer who would like to become a more creative and better writer, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have always longed to be an entrepreneur yet don’t have an entrepreneur’s mindset, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have an issue with cutting or self harm, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are plagued by suicidal thoughts or want to commit suicide, there is a kit which may help save your life.
If you are Gay and having a difficult time coming out of the closet, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have a problem or issues with homophobia, there is a kit which may help you.
If you know you have problems with racism or believe you may suffer from subconscious racism, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are having a hard time achieving inner peace, there is a kit which may help you.
If you suffer from a fear of failure or a fear of success, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are having a difficult time dealing with grief or with the death of a loved one, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are having a difficult time sleeping, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are dealing with a lot of stress, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are fearful or anxious, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are a female or male dealing with low libido issues, there are multiple kits which may help you both.
If you are a couple dealing with fertility issues, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have a problem with hoarding or accumulating clutter, there is a kit which may help you.
If you are woman or man who is a past or present victim of abuse, (incest, sexual or physical abuse, rape/sexual assault, domestic violence, emotional abuse), there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are a victim of chronic pain, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you have a Cancer diagnosis and are fearful, or you are having a difficult time remaining positive and optimistic, there is a kit which may help you.
If you need to develop your courage, resilience, and inner strength, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you need to lighten up, smile, laugh, or see the funny side of life in the midst of all the worldly chaos, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you are a man who has a difficult time feeling masculine, or a woman who has a difficult time feeling feminine, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you need help in getting to know yourself, there is a kit which may help you.
If you have a problem with limiting beliefs, feeling inferior, being insecure, feeling stupid, being jealous, or not believing in yourself, there are multiple kits which may help you.
If you have feelings of self hate or don’t know how to love yourself, there are multiple kits which may help you.
I could go on and on.
Remember, there are 165 My Head Meets Heart Kits in total.
Although each of the 7 main modalities included in each kit should all be used as directed and in combination together to potentially receive the maximum outcome intended…
2 of the kits 7 main and highly effective healing modalities are 100% Free for you to use.
This means if you are short on money or if you prefer to try a kit out first, you can choose a kit and begin utilizing these 2 highly effective 100% Free modalities daily as directed immediately and then you can add the other 5 extremely cost effective and affordable main healing modalities into your daily practice once the 2 no cost modalities have been proven effective to you if you choose.
How cool is that?
To make it even better, you can also utilize the several Free Bonus Healing Tools included with each kit along with the two Free modalities for even greater benefit.
I am in no way joking or playing when I say these two 100% Free modalities are extremely powerful and potentially life changing, particularly when utilized daily and integrated together, along with the additional Free bonus tools included in each kit…
…but I want to make crystal clear that to get the most profound, most authentic, and potentially the most permanent healing benefits from each My Head Meets Heart Kit, all 7 of the main healing modalities must be used together and as directed.
Having said that…
…why does each My Head Meets Heart Kit provide so much 100% Free content?
Because it was very important to me to give everyone the ability to benefit substantially from utilizing My Head Meets Heart Kits to prove just how much these highly effective healing modalities can possibly help and benefit the masses at a time when so many desperately need to do work on themselves towards eventual self healing.
If you gain benefit from utilizing the two Free main healing modalities in addition to the several 100% Free bonus healing tools included in each kit…
….imagine the immense benefits you can potentially gain by utilizing and integrating all 7 of the extremely affordable main healing modalities together daily as directed.
Just imagine it.
“One person’s self-care isn’t necessarily another’s – there is going to be a lot of individuality.” ~ Gail Saltz, M.D., author of the fascinating book “The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
Very true and the same goes for self work.
With that in mind, I have also created My Head Meets Heart Kits in such a way that every individual will utilize each kit differently.
There is absolutely nothing that is cookie cutter about My Head Meets Heart Kits.
Every person who chooses to utilize a custom kit will do so in their own personal, individual, and highly unique way.
Here is how that works:
Three of the seven modalities in each kit offer several different resources for you to choose from.
You will pick and choose among that extensive group of tools and resources according to what you personally believe you need to work on yourself, and this will not be the same for everyone.
I also want to make crystal clear that the two Free main healing modalities in my kits are just as powerful and effective as the other five healing modalities which aren’t free, (yet are extremely affordable.)
In fact one of the two no cost modalities included in each kit I consider to be in the Top 3 of the most powerful healing modalities of all if I had to rank each of them.
How cool is that?
Having said that, all 7 of the main healing modalities included in My Head Meets Heart Kits are very important, powerful, and are geared to be used together for maximum effect, impact and healing.
The other cool thing about My Head Meets Heart Kits is if you are out of work, living paycheck to paycheck, or are on a very limited or fixed income, you can work your way up to fully utilizing all seven healing modalities in each custom kit.
For example, one of the seven healing modalities included in My Head Meets Heart Kits is a series of powerful online courses for each person to choose from and work with.
Most of these excellent online courses are geared towards working with your deep, hidden, and underlying feelings and emotions to hopefully move towards self healing.
These excellent online courses do this in a guided and healthy way via a course created by an expert teacher/instructor in that topic’s field of expertise.
The online courses are immediately accessible, can be begun anytime, and they each vary in length.
It’s important to know that each of these online courses was created by an independent teacher/instructor, so these teachers have developed their online courses according to their own unique and individual teaching style.
For example, some courses are 10 lessons over 10 days, some are 28 lessons over 28 days, some are two lessons a week for 4 weeks, some are 8 lessons over 8 weeks, some are one lesson or installment over a year or 52 weeks, and so on.
These wonderful online courses are each highly individual and unique, and how they are structured depends on the teacher/instructor and how each teacher has chosen to craft their individual course.
The teachers of these online courses typically charge from hundreds to thousands of dollars for their time and services to their established client base…
….YET they have chosen to offer their valuable expertise via these special online courses for an insanely inexpensive price in an attempt to make their valuable expertise available to the masses i.e. available to everyone.
The incredible company which offers these wonderful online courses believes this vital self education and valuable self work is so important to so many people right now that it makes its online courses extremely affordable. It also offers you the ability to CHOOSE how much you wish to pay for each online course.
You can choose the following 3 price points to pay for each online course:
If you can afford to pay the extremely affordable $55.00 (US) to take each of these online courses, please do so…
…..but if you can only afford to pay $35.00 (US) for the course, you’re good.
If you can only afford to pay $19.00 (US) to take an online course, you’re good.
The idea is to make these extremely valuable and potentially transformative online courses available to EVERYONE even if you are out of work, low income, or living on a fixed income or budget.
My Head Meets Heart Kits offers a total of 165 kits, and most of the kits have ten or more online courses for you to pick and choose from.
*The idea is for you to pick and choose a few online courses and use each course back to back or one at a time along with the six other main healing modalities included in each kit to achieve the maximum healing benefit intended from each kit.
….in order to get the maximum intended benefit from My Head Meets Heart Kits, you must eventually utilize all 7 main healing modalities together…
….BUT these custom kits have been specifically formulated to benefit you even if you can’t use the complete kit immediately.
They were formulated so you can still benefit greatly from working with My Head Meets Heart Kits, even if you have very little or no money right now.
For example, if you are extremely low income, you could just work daily with the two powerful yet 100% Free main healing modalities included with each kit…
…OR you can do that while also taking one of the several online courses included with each kit by paying only $19.00 (US) for your first chosen course.
Just add the remaining four main healing modalities to your daily routine as soon as you can afford to add them, one at a time if necessary.
The cost of the remaining four main healing modalities vary according to each kit, but again are all extremely affordable.
Also you can begin working with a My Head Meets Heart Kit of your choosing TODAY.
The two 100% Free main healing modalities included in each kit in addition to the several free BONUS healing tools are available for you to access or download immediately.
My Head Meets Heart Kits will hopefully and very affordably HELP YOU to finally address your emotional issues, your addictions, your negative emotions, your stressors, your fears, your traumas, your inner demons, your low self esteem, your relationship issues, your limiting beliefs, etc. etc.
“A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek it in vain elsewhere.” ~ La Rochefoucauld
Please know that finally beginning on the road to dealing with these extremely difficult, painful, and in many instances extremely debilitating emotional issues is better than living with them indefinitely and allowing them to sabotage and ruin your life, your happiness, your hopes, your dreams, and your desires in the process.
“Do not pray for an easy life. Acquire the strength to endure a difficult one.” ~ Bruce Lee, Martial Arts Legend whose sage wisdom is contained in the truly inspiring book “Bruce Lee Artist Of Life: Inspiration & Insights From the World’s Greatest Martial Artist” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
My hope is My Head Meets Heart Kits will help many people to slowly but surely gain that strength that the martial arts legend Bruce Lee spoke about…
….because we are going to need it as we all live through some once in a lifetime, extremely unprecedented, very challenging, really stressful, and highly volatile times both now and into the future.
As I mentioned earlier there are countless millions of people in America and around the world who have experienced immense heartache and grief over the past year because of the loss of one or more loved ones, many as a result of this deadly pandemic.
Many lost their loved ones while far away from them because of lockdowns and quarantines which of course only compounded their immense grief.
For the countless millions right now who are dealing with grief, guilt, worry, sadness, anger, loneliness, stress, sleeplessness, etc. as a result of the loss of a loved one or for any other reason…
…the following My Head Meets Heart Kits may help you to begin the healing process too:
Kit #1 – Anger Release
Kit #5 – Let Go of Guilt & Shame
Kit #11 – Mend a Broken Heart
Kit #15 – Feeling Depressed
Kit #14 – Forgive Yourself
Kit #32 – Coping With Grief
Kit #42 – Feel Safe
Kit #46 – Access Your Inner Strength
Kit #77 – Stop Worrying
Kit #99 – Get In Touch With Your Emotions
Kit #145 – Eliminate Stress
Kit #150 – Peaceful Sleep
Kit #161 – Inner Peace
*Once again, many of the healing tools and resources in these highly unique kits are 100% Free and are accessible to you immediately.
This means you can initially begin utilizing any My Head Meets Heart Kit you choose for 100% Free TODAY.
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” ~ Jim Rohn,
My Head Meets Heart Kits were created to offer many that change in direction….
…and the BEST part is anyone can begin that change for Free if necessary.
My Head Meets Heart Kits were created to help people to hopefully deal with the most common issues connected to deeply entrenched and extremely negative thought processes, feelings, traumas, and emotions.
And unfortunately many Americans need a LOT of encouragement, coaching, and help right now and have needed it years before a deadly world pandemic made our physical, mental, and emotional well-being much worse:
Case in point:
Gallup Poll – November 2017: Americans’ Well-Being Declines in 2017
“Overall well-being among U.S. adults has declined substantially this year. The Gallup-Sharecare Well-Being Index score so far in 2017 is 61.5, down 0.6 points from 62.1 in 2016 and on par with the lower level recorded in 2014. This decline is both statistically significant and meaningfully large. These data are drawn from more than 135,000 interviews with U.S. adults across all 50 states from Jan. 2-Sept. 30, 2017, and more than 176,000 interviews each year in 2014, 2015 and 2016.” ~ Gallup Poll – November 2017
This is the part of that 2017 Gallup Poll that I personally found the most disturbing:
“Emotional Health, Social and Purpose Well-Being All Worsen
The overall decline in well-being in 2017 is driven by dips in emotional health, social well-being and purpose well-being.
In terms of emotional health, the percentage of adults who report experiencing significant worry on any given day is up, as is the percentage who report having little interest or pleasure in doing things at least some of the time.
Social well-being shows similar declines. Fewer Americans agree that their friends and family provide them with positive energy every day and that someone in their life always encourages them to be healthy, while more disagree with the statement.
Purpose well-being indicators have also receded. Fewer agree and more disagree that there is a leader in their life who makes them enthusiastic about the future and that they like what they do each day.
All of these metrics were highly stable from 2014 through 2016, and in each case the negative movement so far in 2017 is highly statistically significant.” ~ Gallup Poll – November 2017
Needless to say this is all very troubling, and Gallup’s annual findings for 2018 showed that this extremely troubling decline continued:
Wellbeing Declines Across U.S. for Second Straight Year
“Wellbeing in the U.S., overall, continued to decline in 2018, with the national Well-Being Index score sliding to 61.2 from 61.5 in 2017. This extends a deterioration that began in 2017; over the past two years, the Well-Being Index has dropped 0.9 points.” ~ Gallup Poll – February 2019
Fast forward to 2020-2022 with a seemingly never ending deadly world pandemic now added into the mix of our every day lives.
The silver lining in this extremely dark cloud is I truly believe My Head Meets Heart Kits will offer many people at least a glimmer of a LIGHT at the end of a really dark and frightening tunnel.
A potentially LIFE CHANGING light.
We are right now living in a whole NEW ballgame, ladies and gents, a whole NEW reality on too many different levels to count.
It has many names, but the Age of Uncertainty seems to be an appropriate term to use at the moment, because we have no idea where we all or where life in general is headed right now.
I believe this whole new yet uncertain, very unstable, and extremely chaotic reality requires us all to learn how to play the game of life much differently than we have ever played it before.
New times require new actions to live, cope, and hopefully THRIVE within them.
Here are some of my favorite wise quotes which I think will be helpful to keep in mind for the volatile and chaotic times we are now living through:
“We are living in uncertain times. We can choose to hunker down with covered eyes and accept a life of quiet desperation…or we can embrace this stormy moment as our vehicle for positive change.” ~ Dennis Rodriguez
“If we can recognize that change and uncertainty are basic principles, we can greet the future and the transformation we are undergoing with the understanding that we do not know enough to be pessimistic.” ~ Hazel Henderson
“Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” ~ Jillian Michaels
“Uncertainty is the fertile ground of pure creativity and freedom.” ~ Deepak Chopra
“Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” ~ Stephen Hawking
“The people who say you are not facing reality actually mean that you are not facing their idea of reality. Reality is above all else a variable. With a firm enough commitment, you can sometimes create a reality which did not exist before.” ~ Margaret Halsey
“This time, like all times, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
And then there is this piece of wisdom from a iconic Business tycoon from the past:
“In times of rapid change, experience could be your worst enemy.” ~ J. Paul Getty
Referencing the J. Paul Getty quote…
….why could *some* experience be an enemy or a detriment right now?
Because times of rapid change requires dealing with a reality that is now NEW, or something that has never been dealt with before.
This means that when the world and the problems change, the methods of dealing with the problems and the world must also change.
In many instances experience is about how to deal with what has been, how to deal with a past reality which is now rapidly changing. It can be about how to deal with what is now being let go of, so it can have limited use right now.
Of course this isn’t true of all experience.
There is much experience and expertise which will always remain tried and true…
…but for the most part we are going to have to learn to do many things much differently if we hope to not only survive, but to also THRIVE in this new yet uncertain reality which we are all now evolving into.
I think the world renowned futurist Alvin Toffler said it best:
“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” ~ Alvin Toffler – Best selling author and futurist
Indeed Alvin Toffler was 100% correct…
….and coincidentally unlearning and relearning is a major aspect of My Head Meets Heart Kits.
These 165 unique and one of a kind kits are about empowering anyone who needs it with the information, tools and resources to unlearn, relearn and THRIVE in spite of the chaos, challenges, or difficulties one may be experiencing right now.
“Know that as the world you think you know unravels and shreds…you are not alone.” ~ Mark David Gerson
No you are not alone, and like it or not, we’re all in this craziness together, though not all of us equally.
“We may have all come on different ships, but we’re all in the same boat now.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Very true Dr. King, but there is a silver lining:
“Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging.” ~ Joseph Campbell, whose extraordinary wisdom can be found in the wonderful book “The Wisdom of Joseph Campbell” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
That sage wisdom from Joseph Campbell is very true, and one of the multiple goals of My Head Meets Heart Kits is to help many people to discover and utilize their deeper inner powers…
…because think about it:
How would you ever know you had deeper inner powers if you weren’t put into a position to discover and use them?
What If the hidden and underlying purpose for each and every one of us who are alive at this point and time in human history is to discover who we TRULY are?
What If these challenging and uncertain times are intended to enable us to discover our TRUE power, or how strong, smart, and capable we really are?
What If what is now crumbling in our world is doing so to enable the innovative and creative ones among us the opportunity to create something NEW?
For those who TRULY believe in a benevolent God/Universe, I don’t see how you can believe anything else.
The long and extremely painful journey which led me to create My Head Meets Heart Kits began with the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life.
It was the catalyst for my very real Dark Night of the Soul.
It was a time in my life when I literally lived every day the words of the following Winston Churchill wisdom:
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~ Winston Churchill
Robert Frost’s wisdom tells why to bravely keep going or working through your own personal version of hell is very necessary if you want to survive your soul’s dark night:
“The only way out is through.” ~ Robert Frost
But here’s the caveat:
Going THROUGH means you don’t avoid it.
It means you don’t try to dull or bypass your painful feelings and emotions with prescription or recreational drugs.
It means you don’t try to distract yourself from your pain by drinking, smoking marijuana, doing drugs, watching porn, overeating, watching TV, overusing social media, over working, etc.
It means that you don’t partake in the many other ways we humans indulge in self sabotaging and/or addictive behavior patterns to avoid or escape our feelings, traumas, and emotional issues.
In fact, the FIRST question which should be asked in seriously treating ANY addiction is….
…what are you trying to suppress, escape or avoid?
“The human body interacts in its environment with deep intelligence. Your body creates symptoms for a reason. We usually suppress these symptoms with medication, but that is like turning off the smoke alarm when you have a fire going on.” ~ Kelly Brogan M.D.
Suppressing those self sabotaging and addictive behavior patterns and coping mechanisms with prescription drugs typically ends up making matters worse by giving us new issues to deal with on top of the old ones, (like addictions, side effects, etc.)…
….while leaving the soul crisis which initiated the addictions and coping mechanisms still unresolved, still festering, and likely getting a lot worse.
“Our crisis is a birth.” ~ Barbara Marx Hubbard, author of the amazing book “Conscious Evolution: Awakening the Power of Our Social Potential” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
What if we looked through the muck of our lives and attempted to see or be aware of the lessons from the negative and traumatic experiences that we may be dealing with that may be trying to come through for us to grow and learn from?
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” ~ Kahlil Gibran, legendary philosopher who authored the classic book “The Prophet & Other Writings” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
Learning more about yourself and discovering your deeper wisdom and TRUE power just may be the lone UP side of this temporary DOWN time for you.
The upside won’t be seen or experienced immediately, but if you do the necessary daily self work, it will eventually show itself….
…but you must first do the work.
“There is only one corner of the Universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” ~ Aldous Huxley
Again the self work most definitely won’t be easy.
In fact, it may be the most difficult work you have ever done in your life.
“Integrity is never painless.” ~ M. Scott Peck
But what does the word integrity really mean?
“The words integration and integrity are related. When we are fully integrated – when we’ve come to terms with the different parts of Self and no longer judge or fear them – we are a person of integrity. We act from this Whole Self. What we believe and do is one in the same.” ~ Joyce Mason
This great quote from Gandhi comes to my mind:
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~ Gandhi
But being in harmony or in integrity with yourself can only happen if you honestly deal with your hidden, suppressed and likely debilitating feelings, traumas, and emotions, no matter how difficult or painful that may be vs avoiding, stuffing or suppressing them.
This all brings me back to My Head Meets Heart Kits.
These 165 custom kits seek to EMPOWER you by helping you to work on, evolve, and hopefully eventually transcend many traditionally difficult to tackle problems and issues which millions of people are presently afflicted with…
…and these one of a kind kits were created to tackle these problems, traumas, and issues in a meaningful, authentic, and impactful way.
Remember this is a journey not a sprint, ladies and gents.
Forgiveness, healing, or change won’t happen overnight, but it WILL eventually happen if you begin to do the necessary daily self work to heal and change and be consistent about that extremely important work.
“When you are finished changing, you’re finished.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Also remember when you make that self work a daily habit, you are changing yourself little by little every day.
You are growing, improving, evolving and changing for the BETTER every day.
“These are the things that made me rebel and made me drink and made me do drugs. I just wanted to forget that episode from 5, then I wanted to forget what happened at 9, then I wanted to forget what happened at 16 and then I wanted to forget everything.” ~ Mary J. Blige
This is how many people who have experienced any kind of abuse and/or trauma respond to it.
By using alcohol, drugs or some other addictive behavior to cope with it or to attempt to forget it.
Although highly understandable, that unfortunately NEVER works and typically only ends up making things much, much worse.
In 2020 before the start of the pandemic, Yahoo News asked the following troubling question:
Yahoo News – January 2020 – Why Are So Many Women Dying From Drinking?
“This past week, a new study from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism was published that revealed something alarming: There’s been a staggering increase in the number of women dying from alcohol-related causes.
By analyzing U.S. death certificate data, the NIAAA researchers found that among women, the rate of deaths that involved alcohol rose 85% between 1999 and 2017. To compare, men have experienced a 35% increase in that time frame (though the total number of men affected is still higher).” ~ Yahoo News – January 2020
Here is my response to that question from Yahoo News in regard to those extremely alarming statistics:
Yahoo News: “Why are so many women dying from drinking?”
Answer: Because many of those women were likely numbing themselves with alcohol to avoid dealing with their inner pain, turmoil, and the emotional issues and FEELINGS those issues likely produced within them….
….and unintentionally killed themselves in the process.
*For anyone dealing with alcoholism or uncontrolled drinking, please check out My Head Meets Heart Kit titled “Alcohol Addiction Recovery.”
My primary goal for creating My Head Meets Heart Kits is to hopefully help many people to STOP numbing, pretending, avoiding, ignoring, suppressing, or hiding their painful traumas, issues, problems, and feelings….
…so they can feel LESS BROKEN.
In short, I hope My Head Meets Heart Kits will help many people to finally begin dealing with their stuff, their issues, their traumas, their problems, their fears, their grief, their addictions, their demons, their emotional handicaps, their painful pasts, their histories of abuse, their unhealed heartbreak, etc. by first enabling them to be more truthful and honest with themselves…
…and enabling them to stop pretending that their emotional issues, feelings, and traumas don’t exist so they can finally address and confront them….
….ultimately so they can hopefully and eventually HEAL them.
Keep in mind that if you are using one of My Head Meets Heart Kits geared towards healing an addiction…
….after you hopefully heal your addiction, you will then have to go back and address the core issue or go back to address the suppressed or hidden pain and trauma which led you to having an addiction in the first place.
What were you trying to cope with?
What were you trying to forget?
What painful and unbearable feeling were you trying to escape…
….because guess what?
Whatever extremely difficult pain or trauma you were trying to forget, mask, or escape via your addiction is still there waiting for you to finally address and deal with it…
…waiting for you to finally HEAL it.
Following are 4 powerful scenes from the popular former TV show Scandal which gives a very realistic example of how so many people mask their feelings, issues, and traumas with a substance like alcohol or drugs to try to escape their pain…
…and their addictive behavior having a devastatingly painful impact on themselves, on the people they love, and on the people around them.
*Note – Scene #1 is age-restricted so many will have to click on the “Watch on YouTube” link in the video below before they can watch, but it’s pivotal to understanding the other three scenes.
Betrayal: Betrayal is when someone you trust breaks that trust by doing something that hurts you. ~ Dictionary.com
Definition of Ruined: (Feeling you) have been irreparably damaged or harmed. ~ Google Dictionary
Definition of Mean: being deliberately unkind, uncaring, or spiteful. ~ Google Dictionary
What should President Fitzgerald Grant really be dealing with?
His FEELINGS as he finally begins to do in the next and final scene below.
In fact, the relationship between Scandal characters Fitz & Olivia is so smoldering HOT that there is a whole genre featuring countless thousands of fan-made videos exclusively devoted to their passionate love affair and off the charts chemistry on YouTube.
Case in point:
Any time a fan can pull random scenes from a series or movie based on your relationship and set them to Beyonce’s extremely passionate song “Drunk In Love”…
….and the scenes chosen look like they are tailor made for each of those songs…
….then your sexual chemistry is off the charts as a television, movie, or any other kind of acting couple.
Case in point:
The chemistry between the two characters is beyond intense even when they are just talking on the phone to each other:
In my opinion, one reason the characters Fitz & Olivia (excellently played by actors Tony Goldwyn and Kerry Washington) have so much passion and sexual chemistry is because their characters are written in a way which allows them to be full, complete, and emotionally demonstrative (aka openly feeling) human beings, something extremely rare in most television shows and even in many movies.
When Fitz Met Olivia:
Gotta love a guy who instantly falls in love with likely the first woman brave enough to tell him the hard truth about himself 🙂
The far from perfect and exceedingly messy Scandal characters Fitz & Olivia both wear their hearts, their rages, their passions, and the full spectrum of their emotions and feelings on their sleeves with no pause, hesitation, or embarrassment.
Whether it’s wild passion, anger, sadness, rage, contempt, or palpable love and tenderness as the next scene shows, their openly acted feelings are beyond authentic, believable, and almost tangible, meaning many viewers can actually feel it.
Displaying feelings without words is acting at it’s finest.
*Although Scandal has ended and is no longer on ABC, you can watch the first few seasons which prominently feature Fitz & Olivia’s very passionate, authentic, and revolutionary love affair/relationship on HULU.
Before I end Part One, I decided to add one more of my favorite scenes from the TV show Scandal.
The following scene offers a great example of how some people are so committed to living a masked life of pretense, they literally crumble when they are confronted with the truth:
Yes Mellie, wearing a mask while living a life of pretense can be extremely tiring and exhausting.
“When others demand that we become the people they want us to be, they force us to destroy the person we really are. It’s a subtle kind of murder.”
“That’s what real love amounts to- letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be.” ~ Jim Morrison
And unfortunately “most people” also extends to how many of us feel about our own selves.
Is it your true self that you love, or is it the person you pretend to be?
“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.” ~ Jim Morrison
It’s very important to understand that there is no love for anyone, least of all for yourself when you consciously live a lie.
“We hide our stories because we don’t think we’re good enough.” ~ Michelle Obama, from her best-selling book “Becoming” which you can check out here at Book Lender.
In order to stop hiding your story, wearing a mask, or living a pretense or lie, one must first be willing to take the crucial steps to begin living authentically, honestly, and true.
The following My Head Meets Heart Kits were created to help those willing to take those steps:
Kit #12 – Be Emotionally Strong
Kit #16 – Stop Worrying What Others Think
Kit #25 – Live Your Values
Kit #26 – Develop Strength of Character
Kit #44 – Develop Inner Courage
Kit #46 – Access Your Inner Strength
Kit #127 – Know Thyself
Kit #138 – Develop Resilience
*Important Note – There are 165 total My Head Meets Heart Kits and although all of the kits have been completed, most are still in the updating and editing phase.
For this reason I ask you to please be patient if a kit you are interested in utilizing has not been posted yet while checking out the 25 kits that have been finished and posted so far.
And on that note, that concludes Part One of the Intro page.
This Introduction Page continues at this link titled “My Head Meets Heart Kits – Begin To Heal Yourself On A Mental, Physical & Feelings-Based Level – Part Two.”
*Part Two will be posted and linked soon. 🙂
“As we heal, so the world around us changes, not because we have set out to change it, fix it, or get rid of the things we do not like, but because we see things differently.” ~ Martin Lass
In other words…
….we EVOLVE, GROW and CHANGE for the better. 🙂
Pam Jones, Innovator & Creator of My Head Meets Heart Kits
A Very Important Recommendation:
“When you make the connection between an early traumatic experience and current behavior or health or life struggles, sometimes a catharsis occurs.” ~ Ainslie Faust
Catharsis: “the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.” ~ Google Dictionary
When or if this happens, or if dealing with these early traumatic experiences seems too overwhelming or too painful for you, working with a licensed therapist along with utilizing a My Head Meets Heart Kit as a compliment to your therapy is very strongly suggested.
“I struggled with anxiety and depression and questioned whether or not I wanted to be alive anymore. It was when I hit this low that I decided to reach out and ask for the help of a licensed therapist. This decision ultimately helped save my life. You don’t have to wait for things.” ~ Record breaking Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, the world’s most decorated Olympian – May 2019 via Twitter
Very wise words from Olympic legend Michael Phelps.
Good and effective therapy can help greatly in managing, coping with, and seeing your way THROUGH the traumatic, debilitating, and extremely painful issues which you may have been so fearful of dealing with…
…yet these issues you must deal with to finally move toward the happy or at the very least the peaceful life you desire and deserve.
“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~ Lao Tzu, author of the spiritual classic “Tao Te Ching” which you can pick up here at Book Lender
Correcting our minds (Head) is essential…
…but it’s equally essential for us to FEEL (Heart.)
Here is a telling excerpt about the sometimes vital need for therapy from The Hollywood Reporter article titled “Prince Harry Reveals He Used Drugs, Alcohol to Cope With Diana’s Death”
“It was just four years ago that Harry finally sought therapy — a decision that he said was inspired by his wife, Meghan Markle.
“It was meeting and being with Meghan. I knew that if I didn’t do therapy and fix myself, that I was going to lose this woman who I could see spending the rest of my life with,” Harry told Winfrey. “There was a lot of learning right at the beginning of our relationship. She was shocked to be coming backstage of the institution of the British royal family. When she said, ‘I think you need to see someone,’ that was in reaction to an argument we had.”
“He continued, “I quickly established that if this relationship was going to work that I was going to have to deal with my past because there was anger there, and it wasn’t anger at her, it was just anger. And she recognized it. She saw it.”
Excerpts from The Hollywood Reporter article titled “Prince Harry Reveals He Used Drugs, Alcohol to Cope With Diana’s Death” – May 2021
“And she recognized it. She saw it.”
Think about it. Meghan Markle had the guts to tell the most popular Royal Prince from the most well-known Royal Family in the world who was also at that time the most sought after bachelor in the world that he needed therapy.
That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
“If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” ~ James Baldwin
In that instance, pre-Duchess Meghan yet again chose not to wear a mask, keep up appearances, or pretend like everything was fine or ok, even if it meant potentially losing the man she loved.
Remember, this all went down before the most sought after bachelor in the world proposed to her.
Meghan simply told Harry a hard and difficult truth about himself so that she could help the man she so dearly loved.
And Prince Harry was smart enough, mature enough, and loved Meghan enough to listen to her 🙂
“I am an incredibly lucky man to have her as my wife.” ~ Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex
I think they are very lucky to have each other. 🙂
“The woman I chose as my wife upholds the same values as I do.”~ Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex
Very lucky indeed. 🙂
Back to the topic at hand:
“I want to feel my life while I’m in it.” ~ Meryl Streep
If you don’t have access to good therapy via health insurance, if you don’t have health insurance, or if traditional therapy is out of your price range, the following excellent and affordable therapy resource may help and benefit you a great deal while you are utilizing My Head Meets Heart Kits:
Online Therapy Resource: Online Therapy.com – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Online
Online Therapy.com’s whole operation is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is one of the most commonly used psychotherapeutic approaches for treating mental health issues and problems.
CBT online helps you to identify, challenge and overcome your dysfunctional thoughts, behaviors and emotions.
By signing up for Online Therapy.com’s services, you will have full access to their online therapy program tailored to your specific needs with easy-to-follow information and hands-on tools.
This includes daily contact with your therapist (Monday-Friday), tests to see your progress, access to their online forum and much more.
Online Therapy.com’s therapists have a wide range of credentials (academic degrees, licenses or certifications).
Margaret Sweet, the head of the therapist team, has, together with her team, helped thousands of people to overcome their difficulties.
The BEST part is you can begin working with a licensed and credentialed therapist for as little as less than $40.00 (US) a week.
Learn all the details about this outstanding and effective therapy program at the link below.
*FTC Disclosure: I will receive a commission for purchases made through the following link:
“The release of intense emotions and repressed experiences is only part of the process. One can become addicted to expressing sorrow or rage and never really move on to a deeper understanding. One can also gain understanding but be unable to change their behavior. A third presence, or a container, is required. For a traumatized individual, the container could be a loved-one, a trusted friend, or a therapist. The most important component of the relationship is trust. And the individual must move beyond understanding into a new symbolic expression of their life.” ~ Ainslie Faust
*Important Note: You will encounter many affiliate links within the pages of this website.
Whenever you see an FTC disclosure, that means this website will earn a small commission if you make a purchase from those links…
….including all relevant links included in My Head Meets Heart Kits.
Every company or business linked within this website has been reviewed and endorsed by me because it markets a product or service which I strongly believe in….
….and the fact that so many companies and businesses on this website align with the words and the points I make throughout this website is no coincidence.
I have spent much time specifically and extensively researching these many excellent companies so that this would in fact be the case.
“Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Og Mandino
I have set this website up to be both a business and also as a vehicle meant to help and serve all who come here, whether you choose to purchase something or not.
When I created this one of a kind website, I made it my personal mandate to create a website which could benefit all, not just those with money to spend.
We are currently living in highly stressful, very chaotic, and extremely difficult times which likely will not let up anytime soon.
For this reason, I wanted this website to be a welcome light and of beneficial help during these highly chaotic times to everyone, regardless of their financial status.
The business is done via the affiliate links to companies I support and believe in.
The “help and serve” comes from offering so many Free tools and resources within My Head Meets Heart Kits and in multiple parts of this website.
I am also donating 25% of all commissions earned via this website every year to 3 handpicked non profits whose missions I strongly believe in.
That’s right, I will be donating a quarter of all commissions earned to 3 excellent non-profit/humanitarian organizations every year beginning the year this website officially launches.
The donations to the 3 hand-picked non-profits will be made every December, and every year I will choose 3 new non-profits to donate to for that fiscal year.
The first 3 non-profit humanitarian organizations I have chosen to donate 25% of all commissions earned at the end of 2022 are:
1) Vitamin Angels – Vitamin Angels is a charity for mothers and children. It provides lifesaving vitamins to mothers and children under five at risk of malnutrition — reducing preventable illness, blindness, and death — to create a healthier world.
“Malnutrition is the #1 cause of preventable child deaths, but you have the power to save a child’s life.” ~ Vitamin Angels
2) Childhelp – Childhelp aids the victims of child abuse and neglect. It exists to meet the needs of abused, neglected and at-risk children. This important organization focuses it’s efforts on advocacy, child abuse prevention, treatment and community outreach.
“Today, we make children safe.” ~ Childhelp
3) World Central Kitchen – Founded by Chef Jose Andres in 2010, World Central Kitchen feeds the hungry who have been devastated by disasters around the world.
“Wherever there is a fight so that hungry people may eat, we will be there.” ~ World Central Kitchen
These are 3 non-profit orgs which are near and dear to my heart, so please know that for every purchase made via this website, a quarter or 25% of the commissions earned from your purchase will go to support these 3 extremely worthwhile organizations.
Thank you so much in advance for helping me to help others.
“Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder- Help someone’s soul heal.” ~ Rumi
An Encore Spotlight:
“We read to know we’re not alone.” ~ William Nicholson
This web page and website will be linking to many awesome books/audiobooks which I highly recommend.
For this reason, (or if you’re simply a book lover), here is an extremely valuable and smart resource which I highly suggest you check out:
Dubbed the “Netflix of Books”…
Book Lender is an online rental service for paperback and audiobooks,
Imagine having the latest titles and the best classics delivered right to your door.
No more trips to the library only to find out the items you want are already checked out.
No more costly trips to the local bookstore.
You have a choice of more than 250,000 titles,
Book Lender offers Free shipping, no due dates and you can cancel anytime.
*FTC Disclosure: I may receive a commission for any purchases made through the following link: